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Project Snowblind

2005

I picked this up on the cheap hoping for a good 10-hour shoot-'em-up experience...uhh, no.  First-person shooters don't come in a more bland package than "Project Snowblind" because games usually don't give you a game experience that is more devoid of story and more lacking in differentiation from the pack of games currently on the market.

You are Nathan Frost, bio-enhanced super soldier, once man, now machine, thanks to upgrades that allow you to do things like raise an electric shield, see through walls or shoot bursts of electricity through your hands.  This would be cool...IF it weren't such a cakewalk to blow through enemy soldiers ("enemies" because their leader is some crazed general bent on world domination for reasons never really made clear to me) with your existing stock of weapons; you can probably get through the whole game with just the shotgun and the assault rifle, but with about 15 other weapons lying around (and the need to cycle through all of them to get to the one you really want), you can pick THEIR poison and light up soldiers, enemy robots, spiderbots and other super soldiers with everything from frag grenades to railguns.

The levels are your standard-issue walk hallway, open door, clear two-to-five insurgents, repeat.  There are so many health packs lying around--not to mention "nano boosts", which allow you to revive yourself completely as you lay dying on the floor, as well as multiple save points--that I only had to repeat a whole level one time (there are 18 levels).  Even the game's last three levels were kind of easy--should you ever beat a game's main boss on your first try?  Uhh, no.

Not so good, but at least "Project Snowblind" was fast.

Rating:  Rental

 

Feedback?  Comments?  Salma Hayek's digits?  justin@bellviewmovies.com

 

Bellview Rating System:

"Opening Weekend":  Buy this game right away, and don't ask me any questions as to why that's a good move.  A game experience that will almost guarantee repeated controller abuse, lots of ManScreaming and high resale value, you will assuredly play this bad boy for months on end. 

"$40":  Usually after games have been out for a while, they drop in price slightly, or can be bought for slightly cheaper in combination with other new games.  Usually, that's about $40.  You'll feel good getting the game for this price, since it isn't quite run-out-and-get-it-right-now good, but it has enough game in the box for a few weeks' worth of enjoyment.

"eBay":  This game is not too bad, but you'd be better off buying it used from either half.com or eBay.  You also might let a friend buy this game, let s/he beat it, and then try to buy it from them to make them feel better.  Yes, this does tend to feel like "Sloppy Seconds."

"Rental":  Like my cousin Ron, you should always rent games that you aren't sure about first, to make sure that your $50 is going towards something worthwhile.  For games in this category, this is the maximum amount of money ($5) and/or time (3-5 days) you'll need to either gain satisfaction from the game, or beat the game in its entirety.  Rental-rated games are also sometimes perfect for a weekend when you are going to be at home on your ass, with some time to kill.

"Dogshit":  Games like this should have never been released.  If you play this game for any reason, you will regret every second of the experience.  Further, if you can get this game for free, don't do it, because even for FREE, it will still be a negative experience for you!