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2009 Winter Video Roundup, Vol. II

2/1/09

"Following"

Christopher Nolan's first film, "Following" is a tale that will remind you of Nolan's "Memento" almost from the start--a man (Jeremy Theobald) is in trouble, and in taking us all over in the place in chronology, we learn that this man is a writer who falls in with a burglar (Alex Haw) and begins following him everywhere, even taking up following other strangers who live in the robbed homes.  There's only a few characters, it's shot in black and white and the film is beyond low-budget, but that still made the film work because of the twisty screenplay.  Glad I saw it, but having already seen "Memento", it doesn't add much to the canon.

Rating:  Matinee

"Jumper"

This one's easy--"Jumper" has a strange central idea, based around teleportation, that comes out being terribly inconsistent.  Then we get terrible acting from leads Hayden Christensen and Jamie Bell.  Then we get no decent action.  Then we get Sam Jackson pulling a Snipes-from-"Demolition Man" hairstyle.  Then the movie clocks in at 85 minutes.  Wow, this was bad, but to the movie's credit, it had me watching thinking something good was just around the corner right up until...the credits.

Rating:  Hard Vice

"The Savages"

Strong acting by Laura Linney and Philip Seymour Hoffman drive this drama, but the surprisingly good laughs tied to the plot of a dysfunctional brother and sister dealing with their dementia-laden father make its running time very palatable.  Being set mainly in Buffalo didn't hurt either, but moments of rage tied to sincere moments of sadness amongst the father's plight and the leads' sad lives make it all come together.  The film's last half-hour wasn't great, but it was good enough to make me recommend this film.

Rating:  $9.50 Show

"This Christmas"

Yep, it's predictable.  Yep, it's another African-American all-star drama with a famous R&B singer (Chris Brown) who has two tailor-made bits based around his ridiculous talent.  And, yes, naturally there's The White Girl.  But I have to admit that "This Christmas" had me entertained throughout, Lauren London is hot, there are some good laughs and the ending (tied to an all-cast dance sequence) had me bobbing the head a bit.  In a crowded theater in a black neighborhood, this would have been fantastic, but on home video, it still delivers the goods.

Rating:  $9.50 Show

"Man on Wire"

Fresh off its win for Best Documentary Feature at this year's Oscars, "Man on Wire" delivers on its promise--how crazy does a guy have to be to walk on a tightwire that spans the World Trade Center buildings?  The story of our man Philippe and his cohorts is fun, but all this movie really needed are the shots of Philippe walking on a wire hundreds of feet above the ground, with only a balance pole keeping him from falling to his death.  If you are scared of heights, absolutely do NOT watch this film!

Rating:  Opening Weekend

 

Comments?  Drop me a line at justin@bellviewmovies.com.

 

Bellview Rating System:

"Opening Weekend":  This is the highest rating a movie can receive.  Reserved for movies that exhibit the highest level of acting, plot, character development, setting...or Salma Hayek.  Not necessarily in that order. 

"$X.XX Show":  This price changes each year due to the inflation of movie prices; currently, it is the $9.50 Show.  While not technically perfect, this is a movie that will still entertain you at a very high level.  "Undercover Brother" falls into this category; it's no "Casablanca", but you'll have a great time watching.  The $9.50 Show won't win any Oscars, but you'll be quoting lines from the thing for ages (see "Office Space"). 

"Matinee":  An average movie that merits no more than a $6.50 viewing at your local theater.  Seeing it for less than $9.50 will make you feel a lot better about yourself.  A movie like "Blue Crush" fits this category; you leave the theater saying "That wasn't too bad...man, did you see that Lakers game last night?" 

"Rental":  This rating indicates a movie that you see in the previews and say to your friend, "I'll be sure to miss that one."  Mostly forgettable, you couldn't lose too much by going to Hollywood Video and paying $3 to watch it with your sig other, but you would only do that if the video store was out of copies of "Ronin."  If you can, see this movie for free.  This is what your TV Guide would give "one and a half stars." 

"Hard Vice":  This rating is the bottom of the barrel.  A movie that only six other human beings have witnessed, this is the worst movie I have ever seen.  A Shannon Tweed "thriller," it is so bad as to be funny during almost every one of its 84 minutes, and includes the worst ending ever put into a movie.  Marginally worse than "Cabin Boy", "The Avengers" or "Leonard, Part 6", this rating means that you should avoid this movie at all costs, or no costs, EVEN IF YOU CAN SEE IT FOR FREE!  (Warning:  strong profanity will be used in all reviews of "Hard Vice"-rated movies.)