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2008 Winter Video Roundup, Vol. III

3/17/08

"Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story"

Michael Winterbottom and Steve Coogan, who collaborated for "24 Hour Party People" a few years ago, come together again for the mockumentary/comedy "A Cock and Bull Story", and like their previous effort, it's a film that is at times pretty good...and, at times, I did look around my empty living room saying "What the fuck?" to no one in particular.  This is because their latest film (from '05) deals with the making of a film-within-the-film called "A Cock and Bull Story" starring Steve Coogan as himself, although not really, since this movie Steve Coogan is dating a hot Irish woman (Kelly Macdonald) with whom he has a child, and also kinda "hangin' out" with one of the in-film's assistant directors (Naomie Harris).  And, real life intersects with both films incessantly, but then it goes away again, and so on and so forth, but at times, the in-movie rivalry between its two stars, Coogan and Rob Brydon (played by...Rob Brydon), is very funny, and Coogan's general screen presence is always engaging.  Bottom line--it's uneven, but with not as many highs as "24 Hour Party People", and if you've seen neither film, you should check out "24 Hour Party People" first.  Whew!

Rating:  Matinee

"Driving Miss Daisy"

Yep, another "classic" that I somehow never saw; this one was tough, to be sure, because Morgan Freeman is so damned convincing as the house nigga who drops so many "Yes'm" and other slave-like responses to his old Jewish boss Miss Daisy (Jessica Tandy, in the Oscar-winning role) that I just kept waiting for him to drop a "yes, massa!!" at some point during the sprawling story.  For black people, this had to be a tough movie, and I'm no exception, but if you can get through that, it is a nice portrayal of an out-of-the-blue friendship stemming from a driver and his customer.  This also won Best Picture in '90, and now, I have to wonder--how could the Academy pick this over "Field of Dreams", "My Left Foot", "Born On the Fourth of July" and "Dead Poets' Society"???

Rating:  Matinee

"Code Unknown"

Michael Haneke (he did "Caché" a few years back and his latest, "Funny Games", was released here a few weeks ago) is clearly a weird dude; "Code Unknown" is a feature that is essentially a run of skits tied to four different stories that intersect and cover the lives of an actress, her boyfriend, a Romanian immigrant and a bunch of schoolchildren and their teacher.  The scenes are sometimes very interesting; other times, they are intentionally vague, like in one 30-second shot, where we get to see a tractor ride offscreen.  Cut.  Then we have some great bits, like when a passer-by chastises a young man for throwing his trash at the immigrant (who was minding her own business, begging, when she get hit with the trash).  Cut.  This goes on and on for almost two hours, and it wears thin, believe you me.  However, now having seen "Caché", I get that Haneke likes movies that features scenes that may or may not be tied to an ending per se.

Rating:  Matinee

"The Sting"

One of Meg's favorites is a movie that for some reason I never saw, until this weekend...and, for the most part, I thought this classic was pretty good.  Robert Redford and Paul Newman make for a great team (they also worked together in "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid", also directed by George Roy Hill), and the con that they run on a dirty Irishman (Robert Shaw, who later did "Jaws") is pretty solid.  It also is a great look at life before TV or the Internet, since the con that is being run can't be fact-checked anywhere, making the sham wire system that the criminals set even better.  The score is what still rings true today, but the mix of smooth operators is what makes the film so much fun.

Rating:  $9.50 Show

"Diamond Cut Diamond"

This awful piece of shit from South Africa seems to want to be an action film, but from its ridiculous fight scenes, to its gunfights, to its awful score, to its pitiful acting, "Diamond Cut Diamond" is the classic straight-to-video no-name mess.  Did I mention that I watched this because it was called "Diamond Cut Diamond"?  Has there ever been a film more poorly titled?  Does anyone even give a shit that I watched this and wasted 104 minutes of my life????

Rating:  Hard Vice

 

Comments?  Drop me a line at justin@bellviewmovies.com.

 

Bellview Rating System:

"Opening Weekend":  This is the highest rating a movie can receive.  Reserved for movies that exhibit the highest level of acting, plot, character development, setting...or Salma Hayek.  Not necessarily in that order. 

"$X.XX Show":  This price changes each year due to the inflation of movie prices; currently, it is the $9.50 Show.  While not technically perfect, this is a movie that will still entertain you at a very high level.  "Undercover Brother" falls into this category; it's no "Casablanca", but you'll have a great time watching.  The $9.50 Show won't win any Oscars, but you'll be quoting lines from the thing for ages (see "Office Space"). 

"Matinee":  An average movie that merits no more than a $6.50 viewing at your local theater.  Seeing it for less than $9.50 will make you feel a lot better about yourself.  A movie like "Blue Crush" fits this category; you leave the theater saying "That wasn't too bad...man, did you see that Lakers game last night?" 

"Rental":  This rating indicates a movie that you see in the previews and say to your friend, "I'll be sure to miss that one."  Mostly forgettable, you couldn't lose too much by going to Hollywood Video and paying $3 to watch it with your sig other, but you would only do that if the video store was out of copies of "Ronin."  If you can, see this movie for free.  This is what your TV Guide would give "one and a half stars." 

"Hard Vice":  This rating is the bottom of the barrel.  A movie that only six other human beings have witnessed, this is the worst movie I have ever seen.  A Shannon Tweed "thriller," it is so bad as to be funny during almost every one of its 84 minutes, and includes the worst ending ever put into a movie.  Marginally worse than "Cabin Boy", "The Avengers" or "Leonard, Part 6", this rating means that you should avoid this movie at all costs, or no costs, EVEN IF YOU CAN SEE IT FOR FREE!  (Warning:  strong profanity will be used in all reviews of "Hard Vice"-rated movies.)