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2008 Summer Video Roundup, Vol. II

8/2/08

"Burnt by the Sun"

I honestly didn't know what to make of this film, the 1994 Oscar winner for Best Foreign Language Film; set in the USSR circa 1936, it's about a man who goes back to see his former lover and her family, but the lover has taken a new husband, a former officer who has been living quietly in the countryside.  The visitor has a hidden agenda, but even though it's obvious that he has an agenda, he spends most of this film hangin' with the family, teaching his lover's daughter how to tap dance, telling stories about God-knows-what, and watching a mysterious fireball fly around.  (I still can't really explain this last part.)  There are some cute sequences, but because I didn't have a good handle on the politics or setting of the film, I think I missed the majority of what made this film good or not.  For me, it was mostly "not."

Rating:  Rental

"The Cuckoo"

Although I'm not really sure why I added this film to my Netflix queue, I'm glad I did; how's this for a wacky film plot?  During World War II, a Finnish sniper reluctant to fight is deserted by squadmates by being chained to a rock and outfitted with a German uniform in Russia, meaning big trouble if he is sighted.  Meanwhile, a Russian prisoner is wounded after his German captors are killed, and found by a Lapland woman and brought to her coastal hut.  The Finn breaks out, finds the coastal camp, and spends the rest of the movie with this Russian guy and the Lapland woman, who happens to practice voodoo and black magic.  And, none of these peeps speaks the others' languages, so no one can talk to anyone else and be understood.  Somehow, this works, and it's fun to watch people who don't share a language get along during a time of war.

Rating:  $9.50 Show

"The Libertine"

Since Johnny Depp became Johnny Depp, Major Hollywood Star, he hasn't really done any shitty movies, except maybe the last "Pirates" film; however, I hadn't seen "The Libertine" yet, and I now need to change that opinion.  Almost baffling in its awfulness, Depp plays a 17th-century poet who loves women, writing, and drinking; if he's not taking care of business with the various women of his life, he's trying to guide a young stage presence (Samantha Morton) from neophyte to stage vet overnight.  In-between, he drinks himself into oblivion and uses his influence with the king (John Malkovich) to write the dirtiest, nastiest stage romance I've ever heard of.  All of this is bad, but some of the badness is so funny that this wasn't a complete waste of two hours.  But, Depp's performance (and the sick makeup he is asked to wear for the last 30 minutes of the film) make you appreciate a man that--even though he must know the film will be a dog--goes all out to try to lift a film from the shitter.

Rating:  Rental

"Black Book"

The man who gave us "Basic Instinct", "Robocop" and "Starship Troopers"?  Yep, Paul Verhoeven!  Mr. Verhoeven righted the ship by making a WWII drama featuring the Dutch Resistance movement, a Jewish spy and a do-good Gestapo general that is actually pretty darned good.  A strangely great mix of suspense, thriller, whodunit, action film and classic Verhoeven titillation, "Black Book" is a bit long in the tooth, but it works, thanks to great pacing and a story slightly off the normal WWII pace (although it does mirror similar themes from 2007's "Lust, Caution" from an undercover ops perspective).  And, the Gestapo guy is played by Sebastian Koch, who you will recognize from the Oscar winner for Best Foreign Language film "The Lives of Others."

Rating:  $9.50 Show

"We Are Marshall"

You know, call me crazy, but I think that "We Are Marshall" marks the first time Matthew McConaughey appears to really be acting.  This, plus a stellar cast and a backstory that still shocks you because it's so improbable yet based in fact, made this football drama a winner.  Matthew Fox, Ian McShane (Swearengen, from "Deadwood"), Kate Mara (from "Shooter"), and David Strathairn do great support work, and the young actors cast as football players on the Marshall team do enough good things to not get in the way...but, the story of the 1970 team that was essentially all killed in a plane crash is enough to make this worth watching.  What would you do if your school's entire roster was decimated in an accident?

Rating:  $9.50 Show

"Gridiron Gang"

The Rock.  Xzibit.  "GRIDIRON GANG!!!!"  You remember the trailer, and the movie itself is not bad, thanks to a movie designed to entertain, not to necessarily educate.  Based on another true-to-life story, "Gridiron Gang" is about a juvenile detention center in L.A. that became the training ground for a football team full of killers, drug dealers, and thieves.  But, with The Rock playing the coach of this team and so many over-the-top football moments it almost fills up two movies' worth of clichés, this film is better when you turn the brain off and just let it ride.  The kids in "Gridiron Gang" were funnier than the kids from "We Are Marshall", if that means anything.

Rating:  Matinee

"The Inglorious Bastards"

The re-release of this film on DVD recently is set to coincide with the recent announcement that Quentin Tarantino is remaking this movie for a 2009 release.  This is strange, mainly because after watching the 1978 original, it's pretty clear that "The Inglorious Bastards"--five soon-to-be-executed American criminals arrested during WWII who evade their captors and make a run for the Swiss border--is a fucking piece of shit.  Themed off of a hundred other similar movies (like "The Dirty Dozen"), "The Inglorious Bastards" is notable maybe only because Fred Williamson does a great job hamming it up as The Token Black Guy and because literally hundreds of Nazis get shot in classic 70's-action-flick style before the criminals are tasked to run a suicide mission for the government in order to potentially clear their names.  Seriously, nothing is special about this film, although even I had to laugh when I watched the extras disc and learned that here in the US, the video release of this movie was originally known as "G.I. Bro", thanks to the Williamson appearance.  Love racism!

Rating:  Rental

"Resolved"

Here's what I know about the current state of high school debate in this country: I would have NO shot of being successful, based on the fact that arguments are presented in "the spread" format (SPeed READing), and I can barely enunciate words at normal speed.  The 2007 documentary "Resolved" presents the stories of two different high school debate duos: there's the duo from an elite public high school in Texas (white guys) and the duo from Long Beach, CA that attends a high school so poor blah blah blah (black guys).  Even though the set-up is a running cliché, "Resolved" is very well done and lovely for the intellectual set of friends that I run around with on occasion.  And, the finale is not what you'd expect from movies of this type, which I enjoyed.

Rating:  $9.50 Show

 

Comments?  Drop me a line at justin@bellviewmovies.com.

 

Bellview Rating System:

"Opening Weekend":  This is the highest rating a movie can receive.  Reserved for movies that exhibit the highest level of acting, plot, character development, setting...or Salma Hayek.  Not necessarily in that order. 

"$X.XX Show":  This price changes each year due to the inflation of movie prices; currently, it is the $9.50 Show.  While not technically perfect, this is a movie that will still entertain you at a very high level.  "Undercover Brother" falls into this category; it's no "Casablanca", but you'll have a great time watching.  The $9.50 Show won't win any Oscars, but you'll be quoting lines from the thing for ages (see "Office Space"). 

"Matinee":  An average movie that merits no more than a $6.50 viewing at your local theater.  Seeing it for less than $9.50 will make you feel a lot better about yourself.  A movie like "Blue Crush" fits this category; you leave the theater saying "That wasn't too bad...man, did you see that Lakers game last night?" 

"Rental":  This rating indicates a movie that you see in the previews and say to your friend, "I'll be sure to miss that one."  Mostly forgettable, you couldn't lose too much by going to Hollywood Video and paying $3 to watch it with your sig other, but you would only do that if the video store was out of copies of "Ronin."  If you can, see this movie for free.  This is what your TV Guide would give "one and a half stars." 

"Hard Vice":  This rating is the bottom of the barrel.  A movie that only six other human beings have witnessed, this is the worst movie I have ever seen.  A Shannon Tweed "thriller," it is so bad as to be funny during almost every one of its 84 minutes, and includes the worst ending ever put into a movie.  Marginally worse than "Cabin Boy", "The Avengers" or "Leonard, Part 6", this rating means that you should avoid this movie at all costs, or no costs, EVEN IF YOU CAN SEE IT FOR FREE!  (Warning:  strong profanity will be used in all reviews of "Hard Vice"-rated movies.)