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2008 Spring Video Roundup, Vol. I

5/19/08

"Seconds"

Rock Hudson in a schlocky film by John Frankenheimer (the Sinatra version of "The Manchurian Candidate" and "Ronin") featuring faked deaths, "Face-Off"-like plastic surgery and a wacky business run out of a meat factory?  I don't even know why I added "Seconds" to my Netflix queue, but I'll admit that it was kind of cool/weird to see this movie go from strange to sci-fi to interesting/sad character drama back to horror/sci-fi.  Hudson plays a man named Tony Wilson, although that's in the second half of the movie; in the first half of the movie, Tony is really Arthur Hamilton (John Randolph), an older man who fakes his own death to give himself a life free from the stress of older age, a nag of a wife and a blah job.  Complications arise.  Not bad, and the cinematography is interesting; love a good black-and-white shoot.

Rating:  Matinee

"Street Fight"

A great, dynamic, run-and-gun documentary, "Street Fight" follows the two-man race for mayor of Newark in 2002, mainly from the side of one Cory Booker, a 32-year-old African-American from Newark who went on to all-American status, between a great high school career, a football scholarship at Stanford, and a degree from Yale Law School.  He's running for mayor to fight the power, as it were: the incumbent, 16-year vet Sharpe James, has nearly every city official, cop, and firefighter on the sheist/shady payroll, and James and his collective army will do whatever it takes to make sure they stay in power.  Funny, sad, alarming (especially for black folks who watch this film hoping to see other black folks make the "right" decision) and insightful about the political process even at the mayoral level, "Street Fight"--co-produced by Netflix--is worth a look for sure.

Rating:  Opening Weekend

"Fracture"

I'm not gonna lie--"Fracture" wasn't bad!  Some of this is a decent idea--a smart, older gent who looks a bit like Anthony Hopkins (Anthony Hopkins) shoots his cheating wife and goes to trial for murder, something we know from the outset he is quite guilty of doing.  Some of this was a surprisingly funny script given the situation; this is brought to life by Hopkins, co-star Ryan Gosling and others.  Some of this was a pretty solid ending.  But, throughout, "Fracture" is strangely above-average, featuring a cast that is average but never spectacular.  Worth a rent or two.

Rating: $9.50 Show

"Accepted"

Lewis Black isn't bad, Justin Long isn't bad either and Jonah Hill of recent "Superbad" fame plays his normal, filthy, funny self.  "Accepted" didn't crush it at the box offices, but it's a comfy, funny fit at home, where you can laugh out loud at good education-based humor, the occasional sex joke and the great belief that there are dumb people everywhere who might attend a college based purely on a website.  Not bad, given the subject matter--a kid (Long) creates his own community college to ward off his aggressive parents who only want to see their child get into a school they've heard of.  Maybe three or four belly laughs matched well with a lot of chuckles late in the movie.

Rating: Matinee

"Turistas"

Man, the photography in this film gives the whole thing promise, just like its Brazilian setting and fantastic beautiful people.  Then, we get the movie, thin as paper and just plain nasty as it moves forward...over 90 minutes, I'm amazed this puppy even counts as a movie, because the decision making of the principals in this film--six people vacationing who get themselves into a bunch of trouble thanks to a nasty off-Broadway surgeon--even defies really bad horror films of recent memory.  The film has cool underwater photography, but it falls in love with it a bit too much in a prolonged endgame sequence; its ending is atrocious.  In HD, this is at least nice to look at, but otherwise, it's straight awful!

Rating: Rental

 

Comments?  Drop me a line at justin@bellviewmovies.com.

 

Bellview Rating System:

"Opening Weekend":  This is the highest rating a movie can receive.  Reserved for movies that exhibit the highest level of acting, plot, character development, setting...or Salma Hayek.  Not necessarily in that order. 

"$X.XX Show":  This price changes each year due to the inflation of movie prices; currently, it is the $9.50 Show.  While not technically perfect, this is a movie that will still entertain you at a very high level.  "Undercover Brother" falls into this category; it's no "Casablanca", but you'll have a great time watching.  The $9.50 Show won't win any Oscars, but you'll be quoting lines from the thing for ages (see "Office Space"). 

"Matinee":  An average movie that merits no more than a $6.50 viewing at your local theater.  Seeing it for less than $9.50 will make you feel a lot better about yourself.  A movie like "Blue Crush" fits this category; you leave the theater saying "That wasn't too bad...man, did you see that Lakers game last night?" 

"Rental":  This rating indicates a movie that you see in the previews and say to your friend, "I'll be sure to miss that one."  Mostly forgettable, you couldn't lose too much by going to Hollywood Video and paying $3 to watch it with your sig other, but you would only do that if the video store was out of copies of "Ronin."  If you can, see this movie for free.  This is what your TV Guide would give "one and a half stars." 

"Hard Vice":  This rating is the bottom of the barrel.  A movie that only six other human beings have witnessed, this is the worst movie I have ever seen.  A Shannon Tweed "thriller," it is so bad as to be funny during almost every one of its 84 minutes, and includes the worst ending ever put into a movie.  Marginally worse than "Cabin Boy", "The Avengers" or "Leonard, Part 6", this rating means that you should avoid this movie at all costs, or no costs, EVEN IF YOU CAN SEE IT FOR FREE!  (Warning:  strong profanity will be used in all reviews of "Hard Vice"-rated movies.)