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2007 Fall Video Roundup, Vol. III

11/2/07

"Rize"

Here's what I know--whether it's clownin' or it's crumpin', it LOOKS really cool.  Here's what I don't know--anything else.  "Rize" fails in one major area--uhh, everything outside of its dance scenes.  I don't know what makes it good or bad, I really don't know anything about the moves, I don't know what made crump dancers say that clownin' wasn't really for them any more, and I don't understand the hypocrisy that stems from wanting to get kids away from rival gangs, but then join rival dance troupes to battle onstage for bragging rights (a battle that led to one guy's house getting robbed).  Random ties to Africa, God, and sexual dancing that ISN'T sexual made "Rize" quite the conversation piece between my lovely fiancée and I after the film.  But, again, visuals were badass and the soundtrack was pretty sweet.  Definitely worth a rent.

Rating:  Matinee

"The Weather Man"

In this very average Gore Verbinski film (he directed the "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies and "The Mexican"), Nic Cage plays a Chicago weather man who has a wide array of personal problems, including a separation from his wife (Hope Davis), two reasonably-fucked-up kids, and a father (Michael Caine) who hates his son and happens to be dying.  But, while interviewing for a big-time weather job in New York, the weather guy tries to improve his life by...learning archery?  There are some funny lines, the film is very pretty to look at, and I thought that the kid who played the daughter was a funny sap.  But, I just can't figure out why Cage does this average Hollywood productions; Nic, what the fuck are you doing with your career?  Not bad, but not that great, either.

Rating:  Matinee

"Bukowski: Born Into This"

I still don't know how this film ended up in my queue, but it did, so I watched it...and, even though I'm amazed that I had never heard of Charles Bukowski before this movie, the film didn't make me run out and buy any of the guy's poetry or autobiographical novels.  Bukowski, who is only a marginally-interesting documentary subject, makes for a tough sit for a two-hour film about a guy who is profane and sex-crazed and a hard drinker...not because I don't like those things, but because none of it is out of the ordinary.  And, I freely admit, poetry won't be missed when it is gone, so there was that, too.  Hey, you could do a lot worse in a documentary...actually, I don't know if you could.

Rating:  Rental

"Waiting..."

Comedy.  Justin Long (pretty funny guy), Ryan Reynolds (pretty funny guy), David Koechner (pretty funny guy), Anna Faris (pretty funny gal), Dane Cook (to somebody, even he's a pretty funny guy).  Parody of a Bennigan's like restaurant called Shenanigan's.  Cameos by Chi McBride and Luiz Guzman.  An R rating.  The ingredients are all there for a blowout movie...and, then the movie starts, and save for VERY isolated moments, "Waiting..." is surprisingly poor.  It's not awful; it's just disappointing, and now I can see why no one saw this in theaters, why the reviews were bad, and why no one was telling me "DUDE, there's this scene in that movie 'Waiting...' where, you know,..."  I don't even think "the kids" were out trying to see this movie; man, what a bomb.

Rating:  Rental

"Can Mr. Smith Get to Washington Anymore?"

This 2004 documentary follows the efforts of Jeff Smith, Joe White Guy in the scheme of things, as he tries to beat Russ Carnahan (essentially painted as the Guy Who Knows Little But Has the Legendary Family Name) in a Missouri primary to replace outgoing US Rep Dick Gephardt.  Smith, who at 29 has almost no political background and employs a campaign staff of people who are younger and even less experience than himself, is an energetic, over-the-top candidate who seems to exemplify everything that Carnahan is not, and this documentary follows the campaign all the way to its conclusion.  At times, I was kind of annoyed by Smith but I respected his efforts to track down every last available vote in the St. Louis area; we only vaguely get to see Smith's specific thoughts on "the issues", besides the fact that he is clearly speaking to Democratic voters.  The film is never memorable or shocking or particularly informative, but it's a decent little ride that comes to a predictable conclusion.

Rating:  Matinee

"Talk to Me"

I missed this one in theaters; thanks to a long flight back from San Francisco, I got to watch "Talk to Me" in the comfort of my own airline seat.  Don Cheadle plays Petey Greene, ex-con and radio DJ extraordinaire, and through his profane odyssey from a prison in Lorton, VA to the most shocking morning-talk DJ in history, we get a glimpse of what it was like to be in the warpath of one of radio's most lethal tongues ever.  Chiwetel Ejiofor plays Dewey Hughes, the programming director for WOL-AM that hired Greene in the late 60s; both Ejiofor and Cheadle are fantastic and they lead a pretty strong cast that includes Martin Sheen, Cedric the Entertainer and Taraji P. Henson (from "Hustle & Flow" and "Smokin' Aces").  The film gets long in the tooth in its final 20 minutes, but up until that point, I thought "Talk to Me" was great, great stuff.

Rating:  $9.50 Show

 

Comments?  Drop me a line at justin@bellviewmovies.com.

 

Bellview Rating System:

"Opening Weekend":  This is the highest rating a movie can receive.  Reserved for movies that exhibit the highest level of acting, plot, character development, setting...or Salma Hayek.  Not necessarily in that order. 

"$X.XX Show":  This price changes each year due to the inflation of movie prices; currently, it is the $9.50 Show.  While not technically perfect, this is a movie that will still entertain you at a very high level.  "Undercover Brother" falls into this category; it's no "Casablanca", but you'll have a great time watching.  The $9.50 Show won't win any Oscars, but you'll be quoting lines from the thing for ages (see "Office Space"). 

"Matinee":  An average movie that merits no more than a $6.50 viewing at your local theater.  Seeing it for less than $9.50 will make you feel a lot better about yourself.  A movie like "Blue Crush" fits this category; you leave the theater saying "That wasn't too bad...man, did you see that Lakers game last night?" 

"Rental":  This rating indicates a movie that you see in the previews and say to your friend, "I'll be sure to miss that one."  Mostly forgettable, you couldn't lose too much by going to Hollywood Video and paying $3 to watch it with your sig other, but you would only do that if the video store was out of copies of "Ronin."  If you can, see this movie for free.  This is what your TV Guide would give "one and a half stars." 

"Hard Vice":  This rating is the bottom of the barrel.  A movie that only six other human beings have witnessed, this is the worst movie I have ever seen.  A Shannon Tweed "thriller," it is so bad as to be funny during almost every one of its 84 minutes, and includes the worst ending ever put into a movie.  Marginally worse than "Cabin Boy", "The Avengers" or "Leonard, Part 6", this rating means that you should avoid this movie at all costs, or no costs, EVEN IF YOU CAN SEE IT FOR FREE!  (Warning:  strong profanity will be used in all reviews of "Hard Vice"-rated movies.)