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2006 Winter Video Roundups, Vol. II

1/6/06

"Annie Hall"

Featuring a fantastic performance by Diane Keaton and a Woody Allen part that didn't make me sick for maybe the first time ever (although, he wasn't bad in "Zelig"), "Annie Hall" was a great time, a quick flick, a funny movie and a showcase for the world of talents that Allen can bring to the table if everything is top-notch.  After seeing this movie, it was a no-brainer to see how Keaton could fall for a guy that looks not unlike Sam Cassell, that ugly girl from your high school Spanish class or aliens; although Allen looks unsightly to me, he's got talent, and it's on full display in this film.  In recounting his character's relationship to Annie (Keaton), Allen gives us typical Allen shtick matched with his character's longing for what clearly is the best woman he's ever going to meet.  And, that world-famous Keaton smile only gets better as the movie rolls along.

Rating:  Opening Weekend

"The Verdict"

Catching up on more Sidney Lumet thrillers, I finally saw the Paul Newman courtroom drama "The Verdict" and now I have to wonder--has Lumet ever made a bad movie?  Featuring the kind of anti-hero that has become kind of hokey these days but through the mid-80s was "fresh" and "invigorating", the film features Newman as a down-on-his-luck, hard-drinking lawyer that is looking for one last big case before getting out of the game for good.  But, in assessing his life as an ambulance chaser, he decides to do a bit of good for humanity by taking on the Boston doctors that have left a patient for dead by misappropriating meds prior to a surgical procedure.  The movie that follows all of this is excellent, from the performances to the courtroom drama to the ending, which is letter-perfect and even features a scene that would never pass muster today, when the Newman character confronts the woman that he has been falling in love with all movie long.  Two words:  "WHOOP DAT TRICK!!!"

Rating:  Opening Weekend

"Fail-Safe" (1964)

All Lumet, all the time--this go-round, Lumet directed a thriller following four factions of the U.S. government and the military after a botched equipment failure leaves six Air Force bombers to follow through on a mission that appears to be a mistake:  drop nukes on Moscow pronto.  Taking various angles on how the situation would have been handled back in 1964 (when the movie was released), we follow the action from the Pentagon, from a government War Room, from the President's underground bunker and from the lead pilot in the six-plane squadron.  This was remade by George Clooney back in 2000 for a one-hour live production on CBS; I watched that on TV, and it was well-done, but the original was bold, bold in a way I can't remember having seen before, because of how the film ends.  The performances by Walter Matthau, Peter Fonda, and Dan O'Herlihy are all excellent, and the tension that builds all the way up to the finale is just plain cool.  If you can also find the TV version on DVD, check that one out--the cast is loaded (along with Clooney, Don Cheadle, Richard Dreyfus, Sam Elliott, Hank Azaria and Brian Dennehy appear, among others) and I think I remember the ending being a little different as well.  Great idea that works thanks to solid pacing and the hands of Lumet on the wheel.

Rating:  Opening Weekend

"Bullet Ballet"

I got greedy, fishing for a Japanese film that had a cool-ass title; I made it an hour into the 90-minute run time before giving up on this absolutely awful piece of fucking shit.  Shit, this was bad...the idea that a guy who lost his wife to suicide would spend countless weeks and months trying to track down the same style of weapon that his girl used to kill herself to kill random street punks was not bad at first, until the movie started.  The acting is shit, there is a black-and-white production that doesn't benefit at all from what should be a gritty storyline, and the worst part?  The title "Bullet Ballet" made me think, damn, there's going to be a ton of killing in this thing!  But, no, motherfucker, let's give us zero shoot-outs, zero cool-looking gunplay, little-to-no bodybags!  What a fucking striptease, piece of fucking shit.

Rating:  Hard Vice

 

Comments?  Drop me a line at justin@bellviewmovies.com.

 

Bellview Rating System:

"Opening Weekend":  This is the highest rating a movie can receive.  Reserved for movies that exhibit the highest level of acting, plot, character development, setting...or Salma Hayek.  Not necessarily in that order. 

"$X.XX Show":  This price changes each year due to the inflation of movie prices; currently, it is the $9.50 Show.  While not technically perfect, this is a movie that will still entertain you at a very high level.  "Undercover Brother" falls into this category; it's no "Casablanca", but you'll have a great time watching.  The $9.50 Show won't win any Oscars, but you'll be quoting lines from the thing for ages (see "Office Space"). 

"Matinee":  An average movie that merits no more than a $6.50 viewing at your local theater.  Seeing it for less than $9.50 will make you feel a lot better about yourself.  A movie like "Blue Crush" fits this category; you leave the theater saying "That wasn't too bad...man, did you see that Lakers game last night?" 

"Rental":  This rating indicates a movie that you see in the previews and say to your friend, "I'll be sure to miss that one."  Mostly forgettable, you couldn't lose too much by going to Hollywood Video and paying $3 to watch it with your sig other, but you would only do that if the video store was out of copies of "Ronin."  If you can, see this movie for free.  This is what your TV Guide would give "one and a half stars." 

"Hard Vice":  This rating is the bottom of the barrel.  A movie that only six other human beings have witnessed, this is the worst movie I have ever seen.  A Shannon Tweed "thriller," it is so bad as to be funny during almost every one of its 84 minutes, and includes the worst ending ever put into a movie.  Marginally worse than "Cabin Boy", "The Avengers" or "Leonard, Part 6", this rating means that you should avoid this movie at all costs, or no costs, EVEN IF YOU CAN SEE IT FOR FREE!  (Warning:  strong profanity will be used in all reviews of "Hard Vice"-rated movies.)