Video Reviews

bellview--i love movies

Home | Movie Reviews | Video Roundups | Essays | Game Reviews | Subscribe | Mailbag | About | Search

2006 Spring Video Roundups, Vol. II

3/25/06

"This is Spinal Tap"

Yep, it's true--I had never watched this film all the way through, so using the Power of Netflix I scooped this up for weekend viewing.  I must say--while I did laugh at many of the Brit-rock stereotypes (and, the general comedic aura of being around a big-time rock band), this movie didn't make me laugh nearly as hard as I thought I was going to.  The holy trinity of Christopher Guest, Michael McKean and Harry Shearer is good stuff thanks to the direction of Rob Reiner (who co-stars as legendary doc film director Marty DiBergi) and some hilarious songwriting featuring highlights such as "Big Bottom", "Sex Farm" and maybe my favorite bit, the "Stonehenge" number featuring dancing dwarves.  A lot of the individual bits died in the water for me, and this is the first time where I can honestly say that a Fred Willard cameo did NOT make me laugh (he plays the man in charge at the Air Force base).  For me, the top of the mountain with this crew is still "Best in Show" but "Spinal Tap" does have some great moments sprinkled amongst a so-so rockumentary.

Rating:  Matinee

"Midnight Cowboy"

So, maybe this 1969 X-rated Best Picture winner was the first gay cowboy movie!  It certainly has to be one of the first movies about a straight guy wearing cowboy hats from Texas (Oscar nominee Jon Voight) that tries to make it in New York City by befriending a guy named Ratso (fellow Oscar nominee Dustin Hoffman) and having sex with other guys in movie theaters to make an honest buck.  Wow, great movie, and a major depressant, if you catch my drift--as sad a story as "Midnight Cowboy" is, it is very well performed, even if the film slides through its final 20 minutes or so.  Voight is so different from the Voight I know now; my seminal Voight performance is from "Heat", and all of the Voight performances after that feature a man much advanced in age and essentially acting in slow motion.  Here, he's full of life, every bit the flirt and every bit the stud he is playing onscreen.  Just the opposite is Hoffman, who is tragic throughout; yeah, he's a bastard, but truly a lovable one.  Good stuff, although that theme song was on my last everlovin' nerve by the end credits.

Rating:  $9.50 Show

"Quiz Show"

This 1994 Robert Redford drama about the "Twenty-One" scandal was quality stuff, a flick that I had somehow skipped repeatedly over the years but am finally glad to have caught after all this time.  John Turturro plays Herb Stempel, who is the current champ and fan darling on NBC's hit game show "Twenty-One" when the film opens; due to the producers' need to replace Stempel with someone with more mass appeal, Stempel is asked to take a dive on the show so that he can be replaced with a more dashing, more intellectual and more fan-friendly model:  Columbia professor Charles Van Doren (Ralph Fiennes, fresh off of "Schindler's List").  Great story, fast pace--odd for a Redford picture--and a load of good performances, except from Rob Morrow, as the film's requisite good guy lawyer and seeker of truth.  Even now, when I watch game shows, I always believe that the fix is on...except in the case of Ken Jennings, of course, who whooped dat ass on "Jeopardy" for some amazing streak of his own just last year.

Rating:  Opening Weekend

"Cellular"

You know, for a movie that actually rides along on a premise as thin as tissue paper, "Cellular" is actually a pretty good ride!  Chris Evans (from "Fantastic Four") stars as a kid that is literally just riding along one day when he gets a random call from this lady (Kim Basinger) that just happens to have been kidnapped by a dirty cop (Jason Statham).  And, in trying to keep the call from being disconnected--as well as pursuing this lady and trying to break her out of wherever she's being held--the kid goes through some pretty ridiculous shit in order to keep the drive alive.  The performances are good, the film flies along, there's a little action, a little comedy, a few thrills...actually, "Cellular" is a great rental for home viewing.  We even get William H. Macy as a cop on the verge of retirement in order to open his own day spa!

Rating:  $9.50 Show

 

Comments?  Drop me a line at justin@bellviewmovies.com.

 

Bellview Rating System:

"Opening Weekend":  This is the highest rating a movie can receive.  Reserved for movies that exhibit the highest level of acting, plot, character development, setting...or Salma Hayek.  Not necessarily in that order. 

"$X.XX Show":  This price changes each year due to the inflation of movie prices; currently, it is the $9.50 Show.  While not technically perfect, this is a movie that will still entertain you at a very high level.  "Undercover Brother" falls into this category; it's no "Casablanca", but you'll have a great time watching.  The $9.50 Show won't win any Oscars, but you'll be quoting lines from the thing for ages (see "Office Space"). 

"Matinee":  An average movie that merits no more than a $6.50 viewing at your local theater.  Seeing it for less than $9.50 will make you feel a lot better about yourself.  A movie like "Blue Crush" fits this category; you leave the theater saying "That wasn't too bad...man, did you see that Lakers game last night?" 

"Rental":  This rating indicates a movie that you see in the previews and say to your friend, "I'll be sure to miss that one."  Mostly forgettable, you couldn't lose too much by going to Hollywood Video and paying $3 to watch it with your sig other, but you would only do that if the video store was out of copies of "Ronin."  If you can, see this movie for free.  This is what your TV Guide would give "one and a half stars." 

"Hard Vice":  This rating is the bottom of the barrel.  A movie that only six other human beings have witnessed, this is the worst movie I have ever seen.  A Shannon Tweed "thriller," it is so bad as to be funny during almost every one of its 84 minutes, and includes the worst ending ever put into a movie.  Marginally worse than "Cabin Boy", "The Avengers" or "Leonard, Part 6", this rating means that you should avoid this movie at all costs, or no costs, EVEN IF YOU CAN SEE IT FOR FREE!  (Warning:  strong profanity will be used in all reviews of "Hard Vice"-rated movies.)