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2005 Summer Video Roundup, Vol. I

5/30/05

"Monsieur Ibrahim"

A coming-of-age tale--French style--gives us the story of Momo (Pierre Boulanger), a 16-year-old kid living in a shady section in Paris that spends his time like any kid in his situation might:  hangin' out with the prostitutes that work across from his parents' flat and stealing from the local grocer, a store owned by Monsieur Ibrahim (Omar Sharif).  After getting his introduction to sexuality by one of the more helpful ladies on the street corner, Momo begins to learn his introductory lessons on love from his fast friendship with Ibrahim, who clearly enjoys the friendship he gains with Momo.  Sharif is just so smooth, and I don't think I have seen him in any French films prior to this one, but it really doesn't matter as you get to watch the graceful, full-of-life Ibrahim express joy over everything, from paté to the pretty ladies.  And once again, a director does his best to give us a beautiful-looking Paris set...and it all works.  Some of the drama is shocking but alternately feels forced; a road trip that Momo takes with Ibrahim felt out of place for some reason, maybe due to its predictable ending.  But this was otherwise a joy and another reason to check out Sharif's back catalog.  He won the Oscar equivalent in France in 2003 for his role in the film.

Rating:  $9.50 Show

"Bon Voyage"

Man, there's a ton going on in "Bon Voyage", a French caper set during a critical stage of World War II.  While a French government official (Gerard Depardieu) is trying to help figure out if France will go to war with the Germans or lay down to negotiate a peaceful Nazi takeover of Paris, the singer/actress that he is dating (Isabelle Adjani) is busy trying to cover up a murder, her former neighbor (Grégori Derangère) is trying to evade the cops and a teaching assistant (Virginie Ledoyne, from "The Beach") is busy trying to help one of her, ahem, "professors" get to England.  I'll give "Bon Voyage" this much:  something is ALWAYS going on, between the war, a couple of romantic angles, freakin' Nazis, and my very high annoyance with the actress and her diva status throughout the movie.  The film feels like it is always trying too hard to make something happen, and as such just moves too fast, not to be understood but to be enjoyed.  At times it was fun, though, and I liked the performances by Ledoyne, Derangè and a supporting role by Yvan Attal, whom I liked in "My Wife is an Actress" as well.  This one is right on the fence!

Rating:  Matinee

"Deadwood", Season 1 (12 hour-long episodes)

A few people recommended this HBO western to me, and I have to say, I was fairly disappointed by this show because I love shootouts, plain and simple.  I like old west-style cowboy shootouts, not a more profane version of "ER" set in a Montana mining camp.  Now, don't get me wrong--Ian McShane should win every acting honor we have available for his portrayal of dirty saloon/brothel owner Al Swearengen.  In fact, if they changed "Deadwood" to "The Swearengen Files", I would go out and put Season 2 on layaway.  Seriously, has the word "cocksucker" ever been used to such effect as it is on "Deadwood"?  The language is almost too much, even for me, but when Swearengen spouts off lines like

"Shut...the fuck...up you fucking whore and suck...my fucking...dick!" or
"Alright gents...half-price pussy the rest of the night!"

you can't help but laugh out loud that someone was paid to write these scripts.  The cast as a whole is an average performer; the lines do look a little rehearsed, none more so than dirty hotel-owner-turned-mayor E.B. Farnum (William Sanderson, from the old "Newhart" TV show).  The set feels authentic and turns by real-life peeps Wild Bill Hickok (Keith Carradine) and Calamity Jane (Robin Weigert) add just that little extra touch of...je ne sais quoi.  But still, couldn't we get even one fucking old-skool shootout, you fucking cocksuckers????

Rating:  Matinee

"Foxy Brown"

I'm spending more time this year catching up on blaxploitation classic; somehow I had never seen Pam Grier in maybe her most famous role.  From the campy intro with Foxy dancing to nothing in particular, to the all-crackas-is-evil level of white characters being bad, to the horrible fight scenes, to the Black Power undertones, "Foxy Brown" is maybe the most prototypical blaxploitation film ever.  The acting on behalf of the white leads--a modeling magnate (Kathryn Loder) and her nefarious husband (Peter Brown)--is horrible, and the silly subplot featuring a captured Foxy and her two hick tormentors is even more offensive, dragging the film down, but Grier is crazy hot and (at least now) I can laugh at such overt racism in a kitschy film like this.  And who doesn't love Antonio Fargas?

Rating:  Matinee

"1941"

I wanted to see why many think that this is Steven Spielberg's worst film, and the proof is in the pudding--it's the only pure comedy that he's ever done, and even though it features a cast that includes Dan Aykroyd, John Belushi, John Candy, Toshirô Mifune (Akira Kurosawa's usual lead actor), Robert Stack, and a ton of other luminaries, it just isn't very good!  A parody of what would happen in California if a Japanese submarine tried to attack Hollywood, "1941" is clearly the groundwork for more successful films just like it, most notably the "Airplane!" and "The Naked Gun" films; it's just strange that Spielberg would be so bad at something when he clearly had proved his genius and would continue to make great films immediately after this one; his next film is still my favorite, "Raiders of the Lost Ark."  Dear Mr. Spielberg--comedies are not for you!

Rating:  Rental

"Palookaville"

Since this was on the Sundance Channel and had Vincent Gallo in it, I figured, "Hey, this is probably going to be interesting."  No; it wasn't bad, but certainly blends into the small-time crooks pantheon of mediocrity.  Gallo plays Russ, a high-strung loser that hooks up with his buddies Jerry (Adam Trese) and Sid (William Forsythe) to try and rob a jewelry store downtown...only to break into the wrong door and end up robbing a bakery.  The boys' luck--and the flick--get worse from there, although it is occasionally funny watching Gallo blow up on someone for no good reason.  At least it was only 90 minutes long.

Rating:  Rental

 

Comments?  Drop me a line at justin@bellviewmovies.com.

 

Bellview Rating System:

"Opening Weekend":  This is the highest rating a movie can receive.  Reserved for movies that exhibit the highest level of acting, plot, character development, setting...or Salma Hayek.  Not necessarily in that order. 

"$X.XX Show":  This price changes each year due to the inflation of movie prices; currently, it is the $9.50 Show.  While not technically perfect, this is a movie that will still entertain you at a very high level.  "Undercover Brother" falls into this category; it's no "Casablanca", but you'll have a great time watching.  The $9.50 Show won't win any Oscars, but you'll be quoting lines from the thing for ages (see "Office Space"). 

"Matinee":  An average movie that merits no more than a $6.50 viewing at your local theater.  Seeing it for less than $9.50 will make you feel a lot better about yourself.  A movie like "Blue Crush" fits this category; you leave the theater saying "That wasn't too bad...man, did you see that Lakers game last night?" 

"Rental":  This rating indicates a movie that you see in the previews and say to your friend, "I'll be sure to miss that one."  Mostly forgettable, you couldn't lose too much by going to Hollywood Video and paying $3 to watch it with your sig other, but you would only do that if the video store was out of copies of "Ronin."  If you can, see this movie for free.  This is what your TV Guide would give "one and a half stars." 

"Hard Vice":  This rating is the bottom of the barrel.  A movie that only six other human beings have witnessed, this is the worst movie I have ever seen.  A Shannon Tweed "thriller," it is so bad as to be funny during almost every one of its 84 minutes, and includes the worst ending ever put into a movie.  Marginally worse than "Cabin Boy", "The Avengers" or "Leonard, Part 6", this rating means that you should avoid this movie at all costs, or no costs, EVEN IF YOU CAN SEE IT FOR FREE!  (Warning:  strong profanity will be used in all reviews of "Hard Vice"-rated movies.)