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2002 Summer Video Roundup, Vol. III

8/1/02

Hey, on some weekends, not everybody can be an “unemployed social playboy” like myself.  Wait a second...

"Along Came a Spider"

Morgan Freeman stars as Morgan Freeman, an older black man that gives out sage advice to younger white characters like Monica Potter; in “Along Came a Spider”, the prequel to “Kiss the Girls”, this advice includes “Do what you are” and “Trust your instincts.”  As this is the 47th consecutive film where he has done this, one would think that I am starting to feel bad for Freeman, Hollywood’s go-to man when it comes to this character type...he has done it, in no particular order, during “Glory”, “Se7en”, “Chain Reaction”, “High Crimes”, “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves”, “The Shawshank Redemption”, and this spring’s “The Sum of All Fears.”  Luckily, the movies around this character are sometimes interesting and this one has enough twists to keep the casual and the jaded moviegoer wide awake.  The emotionless Potter is good here and the great Washington, DC locations kept me interested.  Now, I have to go and see the sequel!

Rating:  $9.50 Show

"Il Postino"

This 1994 Italian film was nominated for Best Picture, one of the few foreign films to ever be nominated for a Best Picture Oscar.  I liked the romantic angle of “Il Postino” because it doesn’t get too sappy, with its two lead characters discussing the role of poetry in the art of winning the hearts of women.  Massimo Troisi stars as The Postman, and he was nominated for Best Actor for his work here, and he is quite good; sadly, he died shortly after filming was completed.  His clumsiness is offset by his sheer passion for a local barmaid named Beatrice (Maria Grazia Cucinotta), whom he tries to woo through poems that accentuate how beautiful her hair, smile and body are to him.  As his mentor Pablo, Phillipe Noiret (who starred in “Cinema Paradiso”) is impressive as well, and the beautiful Italian countrysides and bodies of water make for some lush scenery.  The film goes on 20 minutes too long, but for the most part, it is good stuff.

Rating:  $9.50 Show

"American Movie"

Documentary filmmaker Chris Smith won the 1999 Sundance Jury Prize for his hilarious, sometimes-touching film about a Wisconsin high school dropout who is desperately trying to finish a 30-minute horror film.  The dropout, Green Bay Packers fan Mark Borchardt, looks like America’s goofiest 30-year-old, living at home, profane as all get out, with wild hair and old-school glasses that have to be seen to be believed.  But, he makes for an incredible character study because he is just so passionate about finishing his movie that he looks 99% insane.  With friends like Mike Schank—who looks stoned in every scene and has the most psycho stuttering laugh ever—and family like 82-year-old Uncle Bill (whose constant requests for more booze paint a sad home life), who can blame Mark?  The film’s heart lies in Mark’s love for his craft, even if all of his films ultimately suck, because you just can’t keep a guy with this much passion down forever.

Rating:  $9.50 Show

"Buffalo '66"

Vincent Gallo is one strange dude.  Which makes him perfect for his semi-autobiographical tale of a just-freed loner named Billy, who comes home to Buffalo and a family that doesn’t love him and a score to settle with...the place kicker for the Buffalo Bills?  Gallo is excellent in his directorial debut, and his 1998 film (which also stars Christina Ricci, Anjelica Huston and Jan-Michael Vincent of “Airwolf”) is haunting if you have ever lived or been to Buffalo or anywhere in upstate New York.  Gallo has captured much of the feel for the city perfectly, and he is his normal scary self as the psychotic lead character that treats everyone like shit.  Ricci’s character motivations are never explained and left me wondering why she continues to follow him around town, but otherwise this is a fine film.  According to IFC’s pre-film notes, Gallo considered taking his parents out when he was only five years old; that fact might be scarier than the whole film.

Rating:  $9.50 Show

"Solaris"

I wanted to see why Steven Soderbergh, James Cameron and George Clooney wanted to remake this 1970s sci-fi film about a strange planet that seems to make dreams a reality.  After wading through almost three hours of film, I can see why—the original film isn’t very good, but the text that it is based on features some intriguing ideas about the dangers of science.  The Russian original is so long and badly edited that there is a seven-minute scene where a Russian pilot is just driving his car while thinking.  I had to stop and start watching this thing three times to watch it all, because I kept falling asleep, and when I was awake, there wasn’t too much happening.  But, the plot’s main twist is interesting and I’ll be anxious to see what Soderbergh does to modernize the mostly-psychological action—a film like this today would get burned at the stake in multiplexes.

Rating:  Rental

"Down to Earth"

Chris Rock’s first star vehicle, a remake of “Heaven Can Wait” (itself a remake), is bad, just bad.  Most of the problem is that the film, written, produced, and starring the funniest comedian working right now...IS NOT FUNNY.  What makes it worse is that if you are a Chris Rock fan, you’ve seen his two TV concert films and “Down to Earth” features jokes that you’ve heard during those concert films!  It’s hard to buy Rock in a romantic role, too, so that makes all of the scenes featuring Rock and Regina King just ridiculous...it feels like The Weitz Brothers (directors of “American Pie”) are directing an Adam Sandler film, what with the fake sappy moments and TV-style soundtrack.  Rock needs to do drama or comedy, not romantic comedies like this one...or, a movie called “CB4, Part Deux: New Jack Black Pookie, Sucka.”  Yeah, that oughta do it.

Rating:  Rental

"The Birdcage"

Loved this remake of “La Cage aux Folles.”  Robin Williams and Nathan Lane star as gay companions that run a South Beach drag club, and they are just hilarious together, especially Lane.  As his feature film coming-out party (literally and figuratively), Lane is the money-ball for this film.  Great support, though, is given by Hank Azaria as a Guatemalan houseboy and the reliable Gene Hackman as a racist, sexist, conservative senator from Ohio.  Directed by Mike Nichols (“The Graduate”), this film has great pacing throughout and over-the-top performances by everyone involved.  Even Calista Flockhart—aka Ally McBeal!—is good in “The Birdcage”, even if she does look like she missed all of the catered meals on set.

Rating:  Opening Weekend

"Chunhyang"

This 2000 Korean film is a really intriguing mix of a musical and a dramatic folk tale.  All of the narration is sung by this old Korean guy in front of a studio audience, which is then used to describe the lush scenery that makes up the folk film that it accompanies.  So, when there is a beautiful scene featuring a Korean temple and servants running around for their masters, this guy is singing in Korean, “THEREEEEEEEEEEEEEE lies the temple of the King....His servants ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL want to appease his master!!!!” and so on.  It’s kind of cool, even if the old guy’s screaming can be annoying after a long time.  But, the old-school setup of a nobleman that falls in love with a courtesan’s daughter sounds like “Save the Princess” in video-game terms, and it works here because of that narration technique.  A bit slow, but the visuals of what is supposed to be 13th-century Korea more than makes up for this.

Rating:  $9.50 Show

"Dial M for Murder"

Hitchcock’s 1954 stage adaptation is brilliant because of how much he accomplishes with just two sets and five actors.  The plot—which concerns a former tennis player’s (Ray Milland) attempt to murder his rich wife (Grace Kelly) to collect on her 90,000-pound fortune—is a simple idea and the man’s plan to take his cheating wife out is perfectly plotted.  But, as the woman’s lover (Robert Cummings) points out, it only seems to be perfect if it’s in a movie...so, you know that things aren’t going to go exactly as ordered, so it becomes fun to see what part of the setup isn’t covered correctly.  Milland is genius here, and as he goes through how he plans to kill his wife in the film’s first half-hour, he convinced me that this man really could be an articulate, sensitive-yet-cold-blooded killer.  And naturally, Hitchcock’s direction is nothing short of excellent.

Rating:  Opening Weekend

"Vatel"

Laura and I rented this 1670s period drama about Francois Vatel, a master servant that is preparing a prince’s home for a visit by King Louis XIV in France.  As Vatel, Gerard Depardieu is his normal overtly-French self, so he is perfect in the role of a man that is a classic jack-of-all-trades as he preps the grounds for a royal visit.  Based on a true story, the sets of “Vatel” are just beautiful, and the art direction was nominated for an Oscar when the film was brought out in 2000.  Not as beautiful: soon-to-be-typecast Tim Roth as another second-in-command bad guy, and Uma Thurman as a princess that is supposedly French without a Frenglish accent.  Vatel’s romantic interest in the film is never really fleshed out and as such, his courting of Thurman’s character is more clumsy than charismatic.  Luckily, the pacing of the film and the beautiful, intricate lawns, shrubbery and ice pedestals that adorn various parts of the grounds help “Vatel” stay relevant.

Rating:  Matinee

"The Color of Money"

Newman.  Cruise.  A match made in heaven?  Well, it is if you like watching your actors cue it up and play 9-ball for two hours!  Billiards is the star here and watching the leads duke it out in this sequel to “The Hustler” is cool if anything because the actors perform most of their own stickwork.  Martin Scorsese’s direction is strange here—he relies so much on trademark fast-zoom shots of his stars, as well as Cruise’s over-the-top performance as young gun Vincent Lauria, that his movie is almost all style.  Luckily, Newman is also up to the task, and when his “Fast” Eddie Felson finally picks up his cue stick and starts playing in the film’s final third, things really get exciting.  (Newman won the Oscar for Best Actor for his work in this 1986 film; I think that this is the only time that an actor has been nominated twice for the same role and only won the second time he was nominated.)  Felson’s romantic interest is, like “Vatel”, never really given life.  And, Vincent treats his girlfriend (Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio) like a rag doll and she keeps coming back for more—why?  All she ever tells us is that she feels like she and Vincent “are goin’ somewhere.”  Oh, okay.  Overall though, this was an enjoyable follow-up.

Rating:  $9.50 Show

"Time and Tide"

Had to get in at least one pure action film, so this was the one—Tsui Hark’s 2000 release about Tyler, a 21-year-old former bartender (Nicholas Tse), and his friendship with a butcher named Jack (Wu Bai) that turns deadly when Tyler finds out what Jack REALLY does for a living.  Needless to say, in the Hark family tradition (“Once Upon a Time in China” series, “Double Team”), a lot of hand-to-hand fighting and gunplay takes place, some of it average, some of it spectacular.  The story around the action is interesting, and all of the leads are good for an action film.  Just come in expecting to see a lot of people die hard and you’ll be just fine!

Rating:  $9.50 Show

 

Comments?  Drop me a line at justin@bellviewmovies.com.

 

Bellview Rating System:

"Opening Weekend":  This is the highest rating a movie can receive.  Reserved for movies that exhibit the highest level of acting, plot, character development, setting...or Salma Hayek.  Not necessarily in that order. 

"$X.XX Show":  This price changes each year due to the inflation of movie prices; currently, it is the $9.50 Show.  While not technically perfect, this is a movie that will still entertain you at a very high level.  "Undercover Brother" falls into this category; it's no "Casablanca", but you'll have a great time watching.  The $9.50 Show won't win any Oscars, but you'll be quoting lines from the thing for ages (see "Office Space"). 

"Matinee":  An average movie that merits no more than a $6.50 viewing at your local theater.  Seeing it for less than $9.50 will make you feel a lot better about yourself.  A movie like "Blue Crush" fits this category; you leave the theater saying "That wasn't too bad...man, did you see that Lakers game last night?" 

"Rental":  This rating indicates a movie that you see in the previews and say to your friend, "I'll be sure to miss that one."  Mostly forgettable, you couldn't lose too much by going to Hollywood Video and paying $3 to watch it with your sig other, but you would only do that if the video store was out of copies of "Ronin."  If you can, see this movie for free.  This is what your TV Guide would give "one and a half stars." 

"Hard Vice":  This rating is the bottom of the barrel.  A movie that only six other human beings have witnessed, this is the worst movie I have ever seen.  A Shannon Tweed "thriller," it is so bad as to be funny during almost every one of its 84 minutes, and includes the worst ending ever put into a movie.  Marginally worse than "Cabin Boy", "The Avengers" or "Leonard, Part 6", this rating means that you should avoid this movie at all costs, or no costs, EVEN IF YOU CAN SEE IT FOR FREE!  (Warning:  strong profanity will be used in all reviews of "Hard Vice"-rated movies.)