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2002 Fall Video Roundup

10/31/02

Given my current status, you are gonna see a LOT more of these!

"The Waterdance"

What a friggin’ great film.  This, friends, is another reason why Wesley Snipes might be the Charles Barkley of acting—with all of this talent, how has he never been nominated for an Academy Award?  As one of many wheelchair-bound losers in this film about a gaggle of guys in a residential hospital, Snipes is just magnificent.  He holds the screen so well, and he blends well with the ensemble acting corps of Eric Stoltz, Elizabeth Pena, William Forsythe and Helen Hunt.  Of course, that’s Snipes for you—he followed this 1992 film up with The Greatest 85-Minute Movie of All Time, “Passenger 57”, and the atrocious “Boiling Point.”  End of serious career.  But, the drama in “The Waterdance” is great, and a number of situations in the film (including the frightening sex scene between Stoltz and Hunt) made me realize how lucky I am to be walking around on two good feet.

Rating:  Opening Weekend

"Branded to Kill"

I have seen literally hundreds of films.  “Branded to Kill” might be the strangest action film I have ever seen, and the second-most whacked-out flick I have ever seen, just barely behind “Jacob’s Ladder.”  (It’s been ten years since I saw “Jacob’s Ladder”, and I STILL have no fucking idea what happened in that film.  Wow.)  “Branded to Kill”, a 1967 Japanese action film, is bad.  After about the 40-minute mark, I was strongly considering changing the “Hard Vice” category to “Branded to Kill.”  Didn’t do it...but, should have.  See this to understand what bad really is.

Rating:  Hard Vice

"Star Trek II:  The Wrath of Khan—Director’s Edition"

The Nicholas Meyer cut of the best “Star Trek” film of them all is not terribly different from the theatrical release, but there are a few minor scenes extended to more fully flesh out the roles of Kirk’s former lover Carol Marcus and his son David, and to let Bones (DeForest Kelley) wax poetic some more on how old Kirk is.  Otherwise, it’s the same great film, and it looks like Shatner is actually acting in this film, which evaporated by the time series bottom-dweller “Star Trek III:  The Search for Spock” came out.  The last half-hour of “Khan” is the best 30 minutes of the entire set of ten films.  Of the Kirk films, they are ranked as follows:  2, 4, 6, 7 (Generations), 1, 5, 3.  These Picard films are just not my bag, even though I think that Jean-Luc is a nice-enough young man that would be a cool guy to grab some Romulan Ale with on a Friday night.

Rating:  Opening Weekend

"Double Indemnity"

Trying to catch up on the AFI Top 100 Films, “Double Indemnity” magically appeared on my TiVo recorder and I loved every minute of it.  This is mostly due to the old-movie charm of Fred MacMurray, who plays insurance salesman Walter Neff with such stereotypical 40s aplomb (dropping the “d” word—dame—about 20 times) that every time he made eye contact with co-star Barbara Stanwyck I burst out in laughter.  But, the plot—which involves the romance between Neff and married housewife Phyllis Dietrichson (Stanwyck) as they conspire to murder Phyllis’ husband to claim a “double indemnity” clause in some accidental death insurance—is the real winner, and the performance of Edward G. Robinson as Neff’s boss is the best thing about the film.  Robinson’s speech about suicide rates in insurance is so good, and like all old movies, he gets to say the whole speech without cutting away to another guy’s facial reaction or some silly musical interlude:  it’s just a long master shot of him reeling off about another man’s stupidity, and it is thrilling.  Strangely, this film was nominated for seven Oscars and didn’t win any...director Billy Wilder also directed “Stalag 17” and “The Apartment.”

Rating:  Opening Weekend

"Cry Freedom"

The Steve Biko memoir, directed by Sir Richard Attenborough (director of “Gandhi” and he played the old guy in “Jurassic Park”), is very solid...for the FIRST two hours.  Then, it takes another half an hour to go through the exile attempt of South African writer/editor Donald Woods (Kevin Kline) and that is where the film falls off.  But, in the early going and through the midpoint of the film, the action is solid thanks to the polarized roles of Woods and South African activist Steve Biko (Oscar-nominated Denzel Washington).  Denzel is a monster once again here, and his character’s public speaking aspects set the stage for the actor’s later work in “Malcolm X.”  The end credits of the film are fantastic as they detail a simple aspect of what it was like to be a black political prisoner in the 1960s, 70s and 80s.  The director lists out some of the official explanations for the deaths of many South Africans while in jail; things like “fell from chair”, “self-strangulation”, “fell ten floors” and “no official explanation” back the theory that my friend Gordon and I came up with during college:  as a black guy, the best reason to never commit a crime is that you’ll never have to go to jail!

Rating:  $9.50 Show

"Waiting for Guffman"

Yep, I finally caught it, and damn, is this shit funny!  Christopher Guest, who wrote, starred in, and directed “Waiting for Guffman”, plays Corky, the flaming-hot stage director of Blaine, Missouri 150th anniversary play, and his direction of the play’s four leads (including Eugene Levy and Fred Willard) is hilarious.  The documentary style of the film (all of this is made up) is perfect and support by everyone is very good...but, it’s the random laughs in “Waiting for Guffman” that are the real winner here, like the random guy that describes his experience aboard a UFO probing session that ends with some interesting information about his buttocks.  Not as funny as Guest’s recent film “Best in Show”, but this is some good stuff and at 80 minutes, you CAN make time to see this film on a doubleheader night.

Rating:  $9.50 Show

"The Celebration" ("Festen")

Wow.  WOW!  I had heard that this 1998 import from Denmark was shocking, but I wasn’t sure what made it shocking; by taking us to a 60th birthday party for a family patriarch, director Thomas Vinterberg really lays on the smack as his so-so first 30 minutes gets flipped on its head with some interesting family revelations that come out during the remainder of the film.  Well-acted, intense, and, well, just plain shocking, “The Celebration” is a great rental because it won’t put you to sleep and it makes for some great post-film conversation!  I knew I should have seen this one in the theaters!

Rating:  Opening Weekend

"The Presidio"

The hunt for films based out of San Francisco continues, and this 1988 entry fit the bill.  Sean Connery and Mark Harmon play a government official and a SFPD cop on the trail of killers that murdered a base MP officer in cold blood.  The film is pretty standard buddy-cop, with some nice scenery thrown in.  Connery dials it in with classic Connery bits, and it features yet another in the long line of Connery fight scenes where he beats the hell out of someone 30 years younger than he is.  Meg Ryan is in this film, too, and I still don’t think she is that attractive.  Whenever I saw that big hair comin’ onscreen, I just wanted it all to stop.  The most interesting thing about watching this film last night was Mark Harmon.  What the hell happened to that guy?  He isn’t a great actor, but he seems to have that “je ne sais quoi” that the ladies love and that guys loved in his only truly great film, “Summer School.”  He was in and out of our lives in the course of about five years.  I can’t say that the man was a failure, because I am sure he saw a lot of skirt time as a result of his looks and TV salaries, but he could have been so much more.

Rating:  Matinee

 

Comments?  Drop me a line at justin@bellviewmovies.com.

 

Bellview Rating System:

"Opening Weekend":  This is the highest rating a movie can receive.  Reserved for movies that exhibit the highest level of acting, plot, character development, setting...or Salma Hayek.  Not necessarily in that order. 

"$X.XX Show":  This price changes each year due to the inflation of movie prices; currently, it is the $9.50 Show.  While not technically perfect, this is a movie that will still entertain you at a very high level.  "Undercover Brother" falls into this category; it's no "Casablanca", but you'll have a great time watching.  The $9.50 Show won't win any Oscars, but you'll be quoting lines from the thing for ages (see "Office Space"). 

"Matinee":  An average movie that merits no more than a $6.50 viewing at your local theater.  Seeing it for less than $9.50 will make you feel a lot better about yourself.  A movie like "Blue Crush" fits this category; you leave the theater saying "That wasn't too bad...man, did you see that Lakers game last night?" 

"Rental":  This rating indicates a movie that you see in the previews and say to your friend, "I'll be sure to miss that one."  Mostly forgettable, you couldn't lose too much by going to Hollywood Video and paying $3 to watch it with your sig other, but you would only do that if the video store was out of copies of "Ronin."  If you can, see this movie for free.  This is what your TV Guide would give "one and a half stars." 

"Hard Vice":  This rating is the bottom of the barrel.  A movie that only six other human beings have witnessed, this is the worst movie I have ever seen.  A Shannon Tweed "thriller," it is so bad as to be funny during almost every one of its 84 minutes, and includes the worst ending ever put into a movie.  Marginally worse than "Cabin Boy", "The Avengers" or "Leonard, Part 6", this rating means that you should avoid this movie at all costs, or no costs, EVEN IF YOU CAN SEE IT FOR FREE!  (Warning:  strong profanity will be used in all reviews of "Hard Vice"-rated movies.)