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2001 Summer Video Roundup

7/9/01

Reviews of some random works on home video and DVD...

"The Tao of Steve"

My workmate Caitlin recommended this one to me, so I checked it out recently.  "The Tao of Steve" is a funny story about a guy named Dexter (Donal Logue, "Blade") who--despite less-than-ideal looks--charms multiple women into sleeping with him and has a unique philosophy on how women think.  I thought the movie was pretty good, although the guy that Dexter is continuously trying to tutor on his philosophy was written and performed with such idiocy that it become annoying to watch the guy act.  (I would tell you his name, but all of the actors in this movie were total no-names.)  And, that ending...my roommate Keith wanted to add here that when you see the ending, "you know that this movie was directed by a girl."  Sexism aside, the man has a point:  much like the ending to "A.I.", the ending to "The Tao of Steve" brings this one down a full Bellview grade.

Rating:  Matinee

"Requiem for a Dream"

Old ioWave workmate Katy Berleth wrote me a couple of days ago and told me I needed to see "Requiem for a Dream" because it had a fucked-up final 15 minutes.  Because I love movies that fall into the "fucked up" category, I ran out and rented this one recently, too.  Make no mistake:  director Darren Aronofsky has considerable talent.  And, this movie is *sincerely* messed up.  Star Ellen Burstyn--playing a retired single mother that gets hooked on pills--was nominated for an Oscar for her role in this film last year, and she is unbelievable.  More amazing than that is the makeup job that this film's artists complete to make Burstyn's condition go from good to bad to awful and worse.  Jared Leto ("Fight Club", amongst other things), Marlon Wayans and Jennifer Connolly (yes, she IS still alive) all play cracked-out druggies as well, and their downward spiral is convincing down to the last turnikit.  And, that mass orgy was totally messed up...

Rating:  $9.50 Show

"Leon, The Professional"

Teresa Lon...whoops, Honemond and my roommates chipped in to buy me DVDs this past holiday season, and one of them was the director's cut of "The Professional", still my favorite Gary Oldman movie.  For those that don't remember, this movie follows foreign hit man Leon (Jean Reno, from the original "La Femme Nikita" before that bullshit TV series) as he completes jobs in New York City for his boss, played by Danny Aiello.  Hot on his trail is a dirty cop (Oldman), but with the help of a little girl named Matilda (Natalie Portman), he hopes to avoid too much trouble.  This movie was already great, but there is almost 20 minutes of additional footage in the DVD version of the film.  Why?  Because director Luc Besson apparently thought that all of the scenes he cut out would rub American audiences the wrong way...mostly because those extra scenes involve Leon's training of Matilda to actually carry out hits on bad guys around the city.  This movie also features one of my favorite lines in history:

Bad guy [on radio, Leon’s gun pointed at his head]:  Hey boss, there's somebody here.

Boss [on radio]:  What does he look like?

Bad guy [on radio, surveying an already bad situation]:  Serious.

Rating:  Opening Weekend

"Girlfight"

Michelle Rodriguez (currently appearing in "The Fast and the Furious") plays a young Latina that, sick of high school and frustrated with her family life, turns to the boxing ring to find some peace of mind.  Rodriguez is quite convincing as the tough girl next door (at least, depending on what Latin part of New York City you live in), and even when she doesn't have the boxing gloves on, she plays the intimidator almost too well for me.  Of course, this is all backed up by the lean Rodriguez's work in the ring, where she goes from a flailing non-fighter to a street-smart and ring-trained boxer by the time she gets to fight one of the top fighters in the city.  And, one of the few films to feature a positive female starring role these days, so for that reason alone, you should catch this one on tape.

Rating:  $9.50 Show

"Robocop 2"

Okay, okay:  it's not new, and it is pretty bad nevertheless.  I watched this on HBO over the last week, and my roommate Keith and I are convinced that this film is the most gratuitously violent movie to ever appear on the big screen.  You lose track of the body count in this film early on, but even in the non-action sequences, someone is getting cut open or ripped apart or bled to death or something else just plain-old nasty.  The sequel to the Paul Verhoeven classic, this movie seemed to try and double the body count to appease a big box office.  The result is a senseless film that will go down as one of the bloodiest to not get that dreaded NC-17 rating.  Wow.

Rating:  Rental

"Se7en"

David Fincher's deadly sins classic hit DVD back in the spring, and I bought it up like lemonade on a hot summer day.  The movie is near perfection, to me...cops Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman make for a memorable pair, but more memorable because of the intriguing case that they are working on.  Far from a pick-me-up, this movie is best watched late at night to set the mood of depression that it gives off almost completely throughout.  Well acted and impressively shot (even if it looks dark during the whole film), this is a film that I thought got hosed in 1995 at Oscar time.  Its final half-hour is unbelievable, and its ending haunting; the DVD contains an alternate ending that was never shot but is dramatically shown on storyboards set to the movie's music.  This is probably the coolest part of the disc--that, and viewing some of the sadistic text from those notebooks that John Doe keeps in his bedroom.

Rating:  Opening Weekend

"Once Upon a Time in China"

This great Jet Li film is the first of a trilogy of films set in China sometime in the late 1800s; Li plays Master Wong, a man who leads a group of local servicemen in protecting some of the country's most sacred morals and standards.  Whatever.  The story may be nice, but it is the action that will make you want to see "Once Upon a Time in China."  The stunts in this one are spectacular, and Wong's duels with Master "Iron Robe" Yim (Yee Kwan Yan) are awesome.  The martial arts, in general, are pretty cool to watch, and there is actually a story to this film, which makes the non-action scenes that much more interesting.  The film is a little too long for this genre (140 minutes), but it doesn't lose your attention for the most part.  From what I have heard, this is the best of the trilogy.  Now, why can't Li make films this good here in the States?

Rating:  $9.50 Show

 

Comments?  Drop me a line at justin@bellviewmovies.com.

 

Bellview Rating System:

"Opening Weekend":  This is the highest rating a movie can receive.  Reserved for movies that exhibit the highest level of acting, plot, character development, setting...or Salma Hayek.  Not necessarily in that order. 

"$X.XX Show":  This price changes each year due to the inflation of movie prices; currently, it is the $9.50 Show.  While not technically perfect, this is a movie that will still entertain you at a very high level.  "Undercover Brother" falls into this category; it's no "Casablanca", but you'll have a great time watching.  The $9.50 Show won't win any Oscars, but you'll be quoting lines from the thing for ages (see "Office Space"). 

"Matinee":  An average movie that merits no more than a $6.50 viewing at your local theater.  Seeing it for less than $9.50 will make you feel a lot better about yourself.  A movie like "Blue Crush" fits this category; you leave the theater saying "That wasn't too bad...man, did you see that Lakers game last night?" 

"Rental":  This rating indicates a movie that you see in the previews and say to your friend, "I'll be sure to miss that one."  Mostly forgettable, you couldn't lose too much by going to Hollywood Video and paying $3 to watch it with your sig other, but you would only do that if the video store was out of copies of "Ronin."  If you can, see this movie for free.  This is what your TV Guide would give "one and a half stars." 

"Hard Vice":  This rating is the bottom of the barrel.  A movie that only six other human beings have witnessed, this is the worst movie I have ever seen.  A Shannon Tweed "thriller," it is so bad as to be funny during almost every one of its 84 minutes, and includes the worst ending ever put into a movie.  Marginally worse than "Cabin Boy", "The Avengers" or "Leonard, Part 6", this rating means that you should avoid this movie at all costs, or no costs, EVEN IF YOU CAN SEE IT FOR FREE!  (Warning:  strong profanity will be used in all reviews of "Hard Vice"-rated movies.)