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Timesplitters & Timesplitters 2

2004

Normally, games are different enough to require two separate reviews, but in the case of "Timesplitters" and "Timesplitters 2", there is no such need.  That's because offer tons of bodybags, a load of different weapons, and maybe the best 4-player action since "Goldeneye" a trillion years ago on Nintendo 64.

The first "Timesplitters" is so base in its approach that there isn't even a plot, and on each mission, the whole goal is to run to a point, pick something up, then run back to the start point, all the while killing everything in your path.  Each level is a different moment in time, say Egypt in the 1930s, or Beijing in the 1970s.  You pick one of two characters, kill everyone on the level, then go somewhere else in time to do the same thing.  Really, it's kind of beautiful.

"Timesplitters 2" does do a better job of having more objective-based missions, plus a slew of killing, which makes us all feel better.  In both games, the Arcade mode allows for up to four humans to go at it; if you don't have any friends (like myself), then you can set the difficulty and the number of bots and go to town on the CPU.  It's all quite beautiful.

If you only had to buy one game, the sequel is definitely the more polished product of the two, and the multiplayer has like 100 playable characters once you have beaten the full game.  Sexy...

Rating for "Timesplitters":  $40
Rating for "Timesplitters 2":  Opening Weekend

 

Feedback?  Comments?  Hot doughnut tip?  justin@bellviewmovies.com

 

Bellview Rating System:

"Opening Weekend":  Buy this game right away, and don't ask me any questions as to why that's a good move.  A game experience that will almost guarantee repeated controller abuse, lots of ManScreaming and high resale value, you will assuredly play this bad boy for months on end. 

"$40":  Usually after games have been out for a while, they drop in price slightly, or can be bought for slightly cheaper in combination with other new games.  Usually, that's about $40.  You'll feel good getting the game for this price, since it isn't quite run-out-and-get-it-right-now good, but it has enough game in the box for a few weeks' worth of enjoyment.

"eBay":  This game is not too bad, but you'd be better off buying it used from either half.com or eBay.  You also might let a friend buy this game, let s/he beat it, and then try to buy it from them to make them feel better.  Yes, this does tend to feel like "Sloppy Seconds."

"Rental":  Like my cousin Ron, you should always rent games that you aren't sure about first, to make sure that your $50 is going towards something worthwhile.  For games in this category, this is the maximum amount of money ($5) and/or time (3-5 days) you'll need to either gain satisfaction from the game, or beat the game in its entirety.  Rental-rated games are also sometimes perfect for a weekend when you are going to be at home on your ass, with some time to kill.

"Dogshit":  Games like this should have never been released.  If you play this game for any reason, you will regret every second of the experience.  Further, if you can get this game for free, don't do it, because even for FREE, it will still be a negative experience for you!