"Poseidon"
Directed by Wolfgang Petersen.
Written by Mark Protosevich. Based on the novel by Paul
Gallico.
Starring Josh Lucas, Kurt Russell, Emmy Rossum and Richard
Dreyfuss.
Release Year: 2006
Review Date: 5/14/06
Folks--
No, the new film "Poseidon" is never as good
as the 1972 version of Paul Gallico's novel, starring Gene Hackman
and Shelley Winters, for a number of reasons...the biggest being the
performances of the leads, in addition to the very end of the movie,
which is stunning. In the new version, Wolfgang Petersen and
his team turn this into a blow-up-the-set fantasy that didn't make
me really get into the characters as much.
In the present day, the ocean liner Poseidon
gets hit by a big-ass wave right after New Year's is celebrated in
the liner's ballroom, flipping the ship over and sealing its
impending doom. While one of the ship's officers (Andre
Braugher, WAY too talented to be in this film) tries to call his
ship's guests down after the captain and his crew are killed, a
gambler (Josh Lucas), the former mayor of New York (Kurt Russell),
his daughter (Emmy Rossum), and a few others tell the officer to
fuck off and find their own way off the ship!
After the initial ship-flipping, I was
amazed at how calm everyone was given that they had just watched
their impenetrable seacraft literally flip over and have literally
hundreds of fellow passengers die around them. After about
five minutes, the majority of the folks we must follow around were
in "Okay, everybody just died in a natural disaster; we need to roll
outta here pronto!" Wouldn't they have been a little more
caught up in the disaster? Maybe not. But, giving us
adventurers that aren't caught up in the moment are what summer
movies are for, right? The players, led by Lucas, just never
seem that inspired to me, although they do a great job of swimming
under major duress. Their actual acting is generally weak,
save for Richard Dreyfuss as a gay politician or business or
something, because he is faced with one of the more difficult
moments in the film, when he is trying to cross an elevator shaft
with or without a fellow passenger.
As expected, the effects work is great;
also, Petersen (who has to be considered the King of the Sea after
directing "The Perfect Storm" and "Das Boot") does do decent work in
building some tension during action sequences as he continually puts
his actors in perilous situations. I also give a lot of credit
to the production team for not trying to make "Poseidon" more than
it is; in a film like this, there should be almost no introduction
to the action and there should be very light pre-disaster activity;
about 10 minutes into "Poseidon", the ship flips over. It also
wisely just ends, as opposed to drawing that out, too. But, a
major change from the previous film (I have no idea which is more
loyal to the novel's ending) is the choice of which characters do
and don't make it out...one of the big things about "The Poseidon
Adventure" was who made it out alive, and that effect is lost in the
current version of this story.
I thought this was going to be a lot worse,
but instead, it's just okay. Hey, at least there won't be
another sequel!
Rating: Matinee
Comments? Drop me a line at
justin@bellviewmovies.com.
Bellview Rating System:
"Opening Weekend": This is
the highest rating a movie can receive. Reserved for movies that
exhibit the highest level of acting, plot, character development,
setting...or Salma Hayek. Not necessarily in that order.
"$X.XX Show": This price
changes each year due to the inflation of movie prices; currently,
it is the $9.50 Show. While not technically perfect, this is a
movie that will still entertain you at a very high level.
"Undercover Brother" falls into this category; it's no "Casablanca",
but you'll have a great time watching. The $9.50 Show won't win any
Oscars, but you'll be quoting lines from the thing for ages (see
"Office Space").
"Matinee": An average movie
that merits no more than a $6.50 viewing at your local theater.
Seeing it for less than $9.50 will make you feel a lot better about
yourself. A movie like "Blue Crush" fits this category; you leave
the theater saying "That wasn't too bad...man, did you see that
Lakers game last night?"
"Rental": This rating
indicates a movie that you see in the previews and say to your
friend, "I'll be sure to miss that one." Mostly forgettable, you
couldn't lose too much by going to Hollywood Video and paying $3 to
watch it with your sig other, but you would only do that if the
video store was out of copies of "Ronin." If you can, see this
movie for free. This is what your TV Guide would give "one and a
half stars."
"Hard Vice": This rating is
the bottom of the barrel. A movie that only six other human beings
have witnessed, this is the worst movie I have ever seen. A Shannon
Tweed "thriller," it is so bad as to be funny during almost every
one of its 84 minutes, and includes the worst ending ever put into a
movie. Marginally worse than "Cabin Boy", "The Avengers" or
"Leonard, Part 6", this rating means that you should avoid this
movie at all costs, or no costs, EVEN IF YOU CAN SEE IT FOR FREE!
(Warning: strong profanity will be used in all reviews of "Hard
Vice"-rated movies.)