So, I had heard about this film through my
friend Jeanne and...well, a poster on the street.
A B-movie that ends up being just that,
“Bubba Ho-Tep” is the story of Elvis Presley (B-movie king Bruce
Campbell of “Evil Dead” fame), laid up in a hospital in Mud Creek,
Texas, apparently very alive even though we all thought he was dead
and gone. After he blew out his hip at a concert three years ago,
Elvis hasn’t left the hospital and is struggling mightily with a
little, well, penile dysfunction. Another resident at this Mud
Creek hospital, Jack Kennedy (Ossie Davis), is a bit off the rocker,
but he just might be the former president...even though we all
thought HE was dead, too. The two former icons join forces to fight
off...killer cockroaches! That’s right, KILLER FUCKING
COCKROACHES!!!!
I don’t know how many films Campbell has
made, but in almost all of the ones I have seen, he seems to
fighting aliens, bugs, zombies or some other ridiculous entity that
he can talk shit to, and he talks even more smack in “Bubba Ho-Tep”
thanks to a number of scenes featuring oversize cockroaches. His
charisma carries a number of otherwise boring scenes, but his lines
aren’t nearly as funny as they were back in his heyday with “Evil
Dead”, “Evil Dead 2” and “Army of Darkness.” Davis is a surprise
for this kind of film; normally the old black guy in major Hollywood
productions, maybe he took the role since he has so much screentime
alongside Campbell.
The bad guys that populate the world of
“Bubba Ho-Tep” take away a lot from this otherwise entertaining
film; they are given no personality, no logical backstory (they show
up in Texas after a 4,000-year wait from...Egypt??), and the small
budget does not afford for nice special effects or makeup that makes
the cockroach guys look very scary. So, whenever they pop up on
screen, I just found myself laughing hysterically at just how bad
this was.
Oh well, I guess you can’t have it all in
this life.
Rating: Matinee
Comments? Drop me a line at
justin@bellviewmovies.com.
Bellview Rating System:
"Opening Weekend": This is
the highest rating a movie can receive. Reserved for movies that
exhibit the highest level of acting, plot, character development,
setting...or Salma Hayek. Not necessarily in that order.
"$X.XX Show": This price
changes each year due to the inflation of movie prices; currently,
it is the $9.50 Show. While not technically perfect, this is a
movie that will still entertain you at a very high level.
"Undercover Brother" falls into this category; it's no "Casablanca",
but you'll have a great time watching. The $9.50 Show won't win any
Oscars, but you'll be quoting lines from the thing for ages (see
"Office Space").
"Matinee": An average movie
that merits no more than a $6.50 viewing at your local theater.
Seeing it for less than $9.50 will make you feel a lot better about
yourself. A movie like "Blue Crush" fits this category; you leave
the theater saying "That wasn't too bad...man, did you see that
Lakers game last night?"
"Rental": This rating
indicates a movie that you see in the previews and say to your
friend, "I'll be sure to miss that one." Mostly forgettable, you
couldn't lose too much by going to Hollywood Video and paying $3 to
watch it with your sig other, but you would only do that if the
video store was out of copies of "Ronin." If you can, see this
movie for free. This is what your TV Guide would give "one and a
half stars."
"Hard Vice": This rating is
the bottom of the barrel. A movie that only six other human beings
have witnessed, this is the worst movie I have ever seen. A Shannon
Tweed "thriller," it is so bad as to be funny during almost every
one of its 84 minutes, and includes the worst ending ever put into a
movie. Marginally worse than "Cabin Boy", "The Avengers" or
"Leonard, Part 6", this rating means that you should avoid this
movie at all costs, or no costs, EVEN IF YOU CAN SEE IT FOR FREE!
(Warning: strong profanity will be used in all reviews of "Hard
Vice"-rated movies.)