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Tee vs. Eh--The Men

2/19/06

I recently had a discussion with a woman regarding the state of the union...when it comes to the female ass.  You see, this woman has a fantastic ass but she does not possess a large endowment (and no, I don't mean money), and she has grown tired of America's obsession and the near-celebrity status of the big rack.  When, she wondered during this conversation, would The Age of the Ass begin?

I argued that the ass has never, and will never, reign, but I do think that in recent times, the ass has become a more accepted object of straight male lust; thanks to popular hip-hop culture and a number of big hits that addressed the booty (topped probably most often by E.U.'s "Da Butt" and Sir Mix-a-Lot's "Baby Got Back"), the ass has been more celebrated--at least by black folks--over the last 20 years.  Now, I think that "the people" have always loved long, sexy legs, so we didn't throw that into the argument; this was strictly a breast versus buttocks conversation.

The conversation was lively enough that I felt it was time to get back to an old Bellview tradition--the reader poll.  So, I hit up 25 men to see what they think...and, I asked 25 women to think about their core straight male friends to see what they think their guy friends prefer.  In both cases, I asked people to comment on the ass in historical context--has the ass ever won out?

Read below for the responses; some folks chose to answer only part of the question.  I have taken names off of each individual response because I think some of these people wanted to cover their ass!

(Vitals for the guys:  15 responses--3 Asian, 3 black, 9 white; pro-chest: 5, pro-booty: 10)

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“First, I'll say I like both.  Yes, I'm saying it.  But, at the end of the day, I LIKES ME SOME TITTIES!  Now, a good rear is something special.  Nowadays, with all of the sloppy goods out there, I'll salute a woman with a nice, firm, rounded backside.  But here's the thing...I can look at your butt at any point during a regular day and have a fairly decent idea of how it would look in the midnight hour.  If you've got your tight jeans on or whatever, I know the deal.  But with a woman's chest, there is that hint of mystery.  What's really going on under that shirt?  Generally, you have a good idea.  But some women do a lot to keep their stuff under wraps.  You and I have had heated debates about the true shape of some women's chests.  I've always enjoyed the thrill of true discovery when in the moment.  On the flip side, the way that women can (in subtle or not-so-subtle ways) advertise their goods drives us crazy.  You know...the low cut shirt, the tank top, whatever.  ‘Yeah, I'm looking at you.  You want me to look at you...that's why your boobs are falling out of your blouse.’  Think of all the great nicknames.  God bless the sweet rack.

“For the second question, we may be in the midst of a time when backside could triumph over jugs.  Speaking as a student of history, breasts have dominated for eons.  First, there is nursing.  Then, think of all of the artwork and fashion from old school Europe.  Cleavage just busting forth.  Throughout the 20th century, boobs have become larger and more pronounced.  Wonderbras, plastic surgery.  However, we seen evidence to suggest a shift in thinking.  Much like anything cool, this change in style has started with Black America.  Yes, the black man generally has seen much value in ‘girls with lots of backfat.’  Think of all of the songs honoring it—‘Da Butt’, the infamous ‘Baby Got Back’, and my favorite, LL Cool J's ‘Big Ol' Butt.’  Now, the big booty craze is more mainstream.  J-Lo comes along.  It's like no one had seen a girl with a fat ass before.  Now, more dudes are interested.  Girls are getting butt implants to go with their fake boobs.  Despite its recent popularity, A will never overtake T in our society.  But it will be fun to watch one go after the other.”

"A all the way, Baby.  T are an oedipal artifact, nice that jubblies are. A just makes me want to bite!"

"I have ALWAYS been a leg and ass man.  I think this is due to the fact that I like athletic girls.  And besides, you can work and improve your legs, not much you can do about the T unless you get augmentation.  I think that the A has definitely gone up in stature, with people talking about J Lo's ass.  People still love Pamela, but the A is catching up."

"In general I'd go T.  Clearly the guy's point of view has always been pro T."

“Ahh...the dilemma...I must admit that I am an A guy. There is nothing like a bulbous, perfectly shaped onion to attract and keep my attention. While I would be lying if I said that T wasn’t important, I feel that the A is so much more significant. It usually leads to a succulent pair of legs to the south and just farther north on the frontal side perhaps a nice shapely midriff. T's come in so many shapes and sizes and they are all to be adored and cherished but for me the A has to be a certain way i.e. round, not too taut not too gelatinous and plump. I am sick of the waif Euro-model cutting board A. It is so ridiculous and looks like two extentions of a bony spine. I am not into it which leads me into your second question. 

“Has the A ever trumped the T in history?...right now. With the birth of Jazz and big booty swinging soul sisters and the transition into the age of hip-hop touching every youth Asian, Black, White, Pink, Polka dotted...whatever...we have the DAWN OF A NEW AGE. The A. Men across the globe are searching for women with shapely plump rumps. Now, some men want something a little less plump than I but they are still rump searching...there endeth the lesson.”

“I prefer the A.  T's can always be improved upon later. And when you have a lovely lady bent over in the dog style, you can't really see her tatas anyway. But her lovely cinnamon ring is there for the plucking!”

“Always been a T man myself. The simple answer is probably this (and I'm paraphrasing 'Seinfeld' here):  'Why would I be an A man? I don't need A...I've got A.' Of course, he was also referring to legs, but the basic principal remains.

“Of course, there is a more complex physiological and sociological answer to this that revolves around Man's need to reproduce as well as modern society that places so much emphasis on large-breasted women that can't help but sink into the psyche of today's male. But, really, at the end of the day, I think I simply enjoy a pair of big titties in my face.

“As far as part II, although what society deems 'sexy' is an ever-evolving interpretation, I don't believe there has been a time when the A has ever trumped the T as the de facto pinnacle of hotness.”

“This isn't really a debate man...T and A are all good.  But if push came to shove, I'd have to say T...I don't want to stare at my woman and realize that she's as flat-chested as me.  And if I remember history, I think the people have always preferred the T over the A...it's the only true physical sign that a woman is a woman.” 

“1) I'm an A guy all the fuckin’ way.  I like looking at 'em and love playing with 'em when the opportunity arises.  Furthermore, playing with 'em usually leads to more adventures with your hands, and better sounds from the lady.  Also, since I have Attention Deficit Disorder, I usually get bored playing ‘Tune in Tokyo’ after more than a couple of minutes.  Don't get me wrong, T's are nice to look at (basically, they define womanhood) and fun to play with as well, but there's nothing like a sweet A.  Finally, if a girl takes care of herself, her A is usually in good shape and you mitigate the dreaded 'junk in the trunk' or 'padunkadunk' in the rear and 'FUPA' or 'Muffin top' in the front.  Hence, I appreciate that the girl stays in shape.  More often than not, big T's are the result of where women store fat and more often than not, big T's lead to big A's.

“2) There is probably not a time in history, since in most civilizations being fat was a sign of being prosperous, and thus, big asses have always been around.  The thong has only been around since the early 90's.  Cleavage has been present for thousands of years.”

“Definitely prefer the A over the T.  A good A can tell you much more about the girl.  Probably in good shape, can dance, etc.  T provides dressing to the meal, dessert, or a good gravy.  An A is the main course.”

“Interesting quandary.  Presentation-wise, I think T is more favorable b/c there are so many ways to dress it up, the exposure levels (both intentional and accidental), and a temperature-based factor that can NOT be beat.  Action-wise, T beats A by a huge margin b/c the % of women comfortable having their Ts probed is exponentially higher than women comfortable with any kind of A probing.

“And, I think the risk factor appeals, too.  You can stare at A all day long and never get caught.  If you're looking at T, though, you can only steal the quick peek.  And if you get caught?  You get to hover on the fine line of 'Oh crap she caught me…but wait…does it look like she's actually happy that I'm looking?'  What a rush.  The advent of low-rise jeans have given the A PR Campaign a huge boost over the last 5-10 years and made it the trendy selection in recent times.  And as hip-hop culture continues to seep into society (and as girls everywhere try to compare their fatty rears to J-Lo), I'd say that A will continue to be the trendy pick.”

“If it comes down to it I am an A guy all the way. To me, it is not an issue to me how big of a chest a woman has, but she def needs an ass!  I just like the back side better and it appeals more to me.  I notice it more often than not.  To me in society the T has definitely been more appealing to man then the A just because it defines a woman more and it is definitely more noticeable to a man.”

“Thought about this one for awhile.  I actually think it's T&A vs. the rest of the world (legs, face, height, etc.).  And my reasoning is that T usually goes with A.  Rosie O'Donnell makes my entire argument in 'Beautiful Girls.'  Essentially, you want the big T you get the big A.  And vice versa.

“But your question got me thinking.  Even in the T&A family I guess you really have to be one or the other.  But this is really one of those 52/48 things.  I had to put some thought into it.  I'm an A man.  My first girlfriend in high school had a great ass.  Marvelous, really.  And she had a lazy eye.  She was cute in the face, had cute glasses that hid her eye at first glance.  But damn did she have a fine ass.  She was extremely intelligent and super sweet which are at the top of the list I have to have intellectually to spend any quality time with a woman.  But I think most people associate a body part with a greater sense of soul.  Chicks like the eyes.  The eyes 'tell them all they need to know' and blah blah blah.  The ass for me links everything.  Her walk and her style of dress best convey her attitude right there.  Dress up or dress down.  Walk toward me or walk away.  That's probably what I'm looking at the most.  And you better believe I'm going right there during a first kiss to see how she responds to it.  But I'm not real big on the so-called 'ass-play'.  Seems like it's some holy grail for most dudes but I don't really get all that.”

“What day of the week is it?  If she's got great A, TAH-DOW!  If she's got great Ts, BOO-YAH!  Both?  Well...I, uh, um....as a kid (say 1 and younger), I was a T man, simply because of their nourishment.  However, I now appreciate the pooper more.  Get something to grab and hold onto!  Historically speaking I gotta think it was all about the butt.  Breasts weren't more than a milk delivery device, strictly utilitarian.  I gotta think the butt was more representative of whether the male should pursue the female.”

“I am much more of an A man than a T man.  I think T's are waaaaaay over-rated.  In movies, TV, commercials, as well as in many conversations had between dudes, it seems as though the larger the T's the better or at least more exciting.  I hate large T's.  They are nothing but trouble, and from the extensive research I've done (i.e., porn), rarely are large T's attractive when unclothed.  Further more, just the knowledge that what goes up must come down makes me even more afraid of what they will end up looking like.

“The A to me also offers much more of an overall body gauge...especially with the advent of the fake T's.  All different body types can have nice T's.  So it's too inconclusive and risk-ay to pass judgment just based on someone's T's.  However, it is much more reliable to judge based on an A.  Generally, you will find that the larger the A, the higher the propensity for the T's as well as the rest of the body to be large.  So in my search for a nice lady, I look for a tight A, because the odds are in my favor that the body will follow the same flow of the A.

“To me, the A is like that red piece of plastic that came with Transformers, that allowed you to ‘decode’ the transformer's stats on the back of the box.  If used properly, the A can give you all the insight you will need to determine if she's hittable and whether or not you can mention this conquest to anyone.

“The A has never trumped the T, even though J.Lo and a lot of rappers have tried feverishly to bring the A from the back to the front.  Unfortunately they've focused on large booty...something that generally frightens the average white guy.  Thus the A hasn't quite caught on in anything other than rap videos.

“Also, TV/movies/etc. always focus on large T's.  Very rarely are the small, but perfect T's mentioned or even seen in the mainstream media.  We focus on excess.  So, when comparing what the general public would rather look at, a large T trumps a large A in almost any book...including mine.  Also, since large T's look tantalizing when clothed, and this is generally the way they will be presented in the media, it would be a safe bet that until we go Euro (full disclosure), there is zero chance of the A trumping the T.  Unless we somehow manage to elect Juvenile as president and he brings the Hot Boyz, Lil' Wayne, & B.G. as his cabinet.”

 

What about the ladies?  Find out how they weighed in...

 

 

justin@bellviewmovies.com