Movie Essays

bellview--yep, i will watch anything   

Home | Movie Reviews | Video Roundups | Essays | Game Reviews | Subscribe | Mailbag | About | Search

Summer Trailer Night '06

5/11/06

The DC Film Society (dcfilmsociety.org) does two nights a year where all they show are trailers for upcoming movies.  Since I love the previews for movies more than the actual movies themselves quite often, I soaked this shit up.  Below are reviews of the trailers based on the scale we were given on a survey to grade each trailer, from 0 (BLAH!!) to 5 (YEAH!!).  Enjoy!

---

"The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift"--Yeah, this is probably going to suck.  And, even Paul Walker decided to bail on this one...will Bow Wow be able to pick up the slack?  Doubtful...but, the Japanese beauties in the trailer (I'm just guessing they are Japanese, but I can't say for sure) sure look good.  Rating:  2

"Mission: Impossible III"--I've already seen this, but I still love the trailer even though it grossly downplays the romantic angle in the movie.  Rating: 5

"X-Men: The Last Stand"--I hate the title ("X3" just works better), but otherwise, this looks pretty sweet.  I will wait until its second day of release to make sure I don't have to stand in line behind a Pyro or Wolverine wannabe.  Rating: 5

"Clean"--this drama featuring Maggie Cheung and Nick Nolte actually looked interesting to me, an indie that follows a drug-using mom (Cheung) who gets out of the joint to find her child in the hands of what seemed like a friend (Nolte) that has been watching the kid.  Rating: 4

"Down in the Valley"--Truly bad preview, with Ed Norton playing a cowboy at maybe the most unfortunate time in film history to be playing a cowboy.  I love Norton, so I might catch this anyway.  Rating: 2

"House of Sand"--I don't even get what was happening in this one, but in following three generations of women that are in the middle of a desert, I was mildly intrigued.  Rating: 3

"Mongolian Ping Pong"--The worst title of a film in this batch is also the one that created the strangest intrigue in my theater.  I don't know why, but I feel like I have to see this.  Rating: 4

"Sketches of Frank Gehry"--A documentary by Sydney Pollack ("Three Days of the Condor", "Out of Africa") about the wacko architecture of Frank Gehry.  I'm in.  Rating: 5

"Hoot"--This kid's film is already out, and from the trailer, I see no reason to ever watch it.  The second-worst trailer of the night.  Rating: 0

"How to Eat Fried Worms"--My friend Katie said that the books are great and if half of the nasty things that happen in the book happen in the movie, she's there.  Count me in, too.  Rating: 5

"Little Miss Sunshine"--It looks like a family dramedy, and with a cast that gives us Steve Carell, Greg Kinnear and Toni Collette, I'm all over this one.  Rating: 5

"The Ant Bully"--Uhh, probably not.  But, the teaser (30 seconds, instead of 90-120 seconds) that was shown was kinda funny.  Rating: 2

"Barnyard"--Yes, my friends...yes!  Farm animals that go kid-tipping?  Bingo.  Rating: 5

"Over the Hedge"--William Shatner?  Garry Shandling?  Nick Nolte?  Voicing cartoon characters?  What?  Rating:  4

"Monster House"--The teaser isn't that good, but the longer trailer is very promising.  Spielberg does it again...with cartoons!  Rating: 5

"The Break-Up"--One can only pray that the movie of the Aniston/Vaughn comedy is nearly as good as the trailer.  Rating: 5

"Click"--Two words:  David Hasselhoff and Adam Sandler.  No fucking way this is any good.  Rating: 1

"Nacho Libre"--I love my buddy Ross's girlfriend Anne, but I was stunned that she doesn't want to see this movie.  Just the moment when Jack Black's character blows chips all over a nun's salad makes me howl.  This is the only movie of this entire batch that I think is guaranteed to not suck.  Rating: 5

"A Prairie Home Companion"--besides my constant concern that Robert Altman will make a film that is too long (imagine that?), this looks interesting.  Except for having Lindsay Lohan in the movie.  Rating: 3

"Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby"--the title is great, the Ferrell/Reilly pairing is money, and the team behind "Anchorman" is back...but, as funny as the trailer is, Ferrell has not been great in a film in a little while.  Hopefully, he comes home in this one.  Rating: 4

"The Omen"--The trailer is not promising, but this should be R-rated horror entertainment with some backbone, so we'll give this remake a roll.  Rating: 2

"Pathfinder"--As promising as Karl Urban was in the "Lord of the Rings" movies, he is quickly charting a path that reads "Jean-Claude Van Damme."  Rating: 1

"Poseidon"--There's no way this will touch the original, but if Richard Dreyfuss and Wolfgang Petersen signed on, this will at least be worth checking out.  Rating: 3

"The Lake House"--In our theater, romantics loved this trailer...everyone else hated it.  Where did I stand?  Rating:  2

"Art School Confidential"--Directed by Terry Zwigoff, who did "Bad Santa", and has John Malkovich looking crazy.  I'm in.  Rating: 4

"The King"--Katie said it best: "All of Gael Garcia Bernal's movies are really good and feature lots of his characters having sex."  That, and the man's just an incredible actor.  Rating: 5

"Look Both Ways"--An Australian film that had some fairly violent images in the trailer, I think this was last year's winner of whatever the Australian version of the Oscar is.  I'll check this out for sure.  Rating: 4

"Wordplay"--A documentary on crossword puzzles that features Jon Stewart, President Clinton and a bunch of other luminaries.  Hmm...  Rating: 4

"Idlewild"--A Prohibition-era musical featuring the OutKast guys, this one actually looked pretty cool.  I'm sure the tied-in soundtrack will blow the roof off.  Rating: 4

"Trust the Man"--David Duchovny, Julianne Moore, Eva Mendes...casting is great, good laughs in the trailer.  I'm worried that a broken promise is coming on, but on paper, this looks good.  Rating: 3

"Little Man"--The Wayans family has fallen so far it's not even funny any more, but how Keenan Ivory Wayans can look at himself in the mirror any more is beyond me.  This comedy features Shawn and Marlon Wayans in what was far and away the worst trailer of the night.  Even though no one was looking at me, I was shaking my head in disgust as others booed and hissed during this preview.  Wow.  To go from "I'm Gonna Git You Sucka" to this is a fall from grace like none other.  Rating: 0

"The Da Vinci Code"--Now that I've read the book, I'm surprised that part of ending is shown during the trailer.  It doesn't quite give the ending away, but then again, it kind of does.  Either way, I'm sure that the movie will be interesting, and slightly dumbed down for the masses.  Won't stop me from seeing it.  Rating: 3

"Marie Antoinette"--When I first saw this trailer last year (it was shown in front of something that came out during the Christmas season), I thought "Wow, this looks like something Wes Anderson or that girl that did 'The Virgin Suicides' would do."  Of course, "that girl" is Sofia Coppola, who made "Lost in Translation", so the pairing of a period drama with alt-rock in the trailer means that artheads will run out and see "Marie Antoinette" just because.  Hopefully, Kirsten Dunst won't annoy the living shit out of me.  Rating: 3

 

justin@bellviewmovies.com